Delicia Sez

Fair Food

2011-10-02T22:21:00.003-07:00

A few weeks ago we went to the Puyallup Fair. We walked around, saw animals, crafts, LOTS of vendors, and of course, ate lots of unhealthy FAIR FOOD!! Ready for a bunch of random pics!

As we were walking in, we passed by a car in the parking lot that was rather disturbing.

Um. I think you left your kid in there?

Yeah that's not creepy at all.

This is for my friend Craig:

AAAW look, little baby pigs! They are so cute:

We stopped at a Fried Foods Vendor, and found the following:

Wait. Deep Fried, Fried Butter? Isn't that.. redundant? How.. how do you even fry butter, BEFORE deep frying it?? I'm so confused. And? YUCK

Just say NO

Not enough deep fried deliciousness? Here's MORE!

Adam wanted to try the Deep Fried Rocky Mountain Oysters ("I like oysters!") until we told him what they REALLY were ("Ewwwwwwwwww!!!")

I'm sorry, but these look like some bizarre sex toys or something:

They had this deal before the Fair, where you could buy Ride Wristbands for slightly cheaper than at the Fair for "unlimited rides". We opted not to get them, since we didn't want the kids to pester us to ride rides all day. I'm really glad we didn't, because half of the rides had these:

We watched them turn away SO many kids/people with wristbands it was appalling.

Because EVERYTHING tastes better on a stick!

Mmmmmmm Unicorns... NOMNOMNOM

This was a pic that was painted along the side of one of the roller coaster rides. WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT FOR THE VAMPIRES!

And now, for the obligatory Metal Chicken pictures. Don't know why? Read THIS, and THIS

It was a great day, and at the end of it we saw Weird Al Yankovic in concert there, where during Wanna Be Ur Luvr he came down the center aisle and sat in my lap and sang to me!! A perfect end to a great day!

Angry

2011-09-25T20:46:00.000-07:00

Tonight, my oldest brother sent me a picture from some old film he recently had developed. The quality is poor, considering the film was 8 years old that's no surprise. The picture is me, with my two brothers Dan & Nathan. It was taken at Christmastime in 2003. That was the last Christmas I had with brother Dan. In Spring of 2004, he died of an overdose interaction of cocaine combined with alcohol.

I looked at the picture, and Dan looks just like I remember him. He looks like he'll always look to me, because he can't age. And I love him so much. And I'm so ANGRY.

I'm angry that my brother will never be there to do magic tricks for the kids. He would pull quarters out of ears, and make things disappear. To my kids, he WAS magic. Now their memories of him are dim, they were so young when he died.

I'm angry with myself, for not calling him more often. For not taking time out of my "busy" life to keep that connection going. For not arranging to have lunch with him when he literally worked down the street from where I worked. Maybe I would have seen something. Maybe I could have helped.

I'm angry that he had just seemed to be getting his life together. He had just gotten a great job, had taken us out to dinner so excited that he was able to pay for it, it was like he had finally become a grown up. After struggling for years, selling plasma weekly just to buy food, he was on the rise.

I'm angry that a wonderful writer is no longer there to write the quirky, intellectual writings that I know would someday have been published in more than an online venue.

But most of all, I'm angry with Dan. Why didn't you seek professional help? Why didn't you come to your family for help? Why did you do such a stupid thing?? You were SO smart. I was just getting to know the Grown Up you, the older brother I could hang out with and talk to about music and technology, and you went away. IT'S NOT FAIR AND I'M PISSED AT YOU FOR IT.

If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, PLEASE, seek help. Do it for yourself, do it for the loved ones involved.

Social Networked To Death

2011-08-10T10:52:00.000-07:00

I'm getting a little frustrated with Social Networking lately.

First, it was Facebook. Ok, sure, I joined, played me some Farmville, got sick of Farmville, Friended everyone and their brother, and their brother's 3rd grade soccer coach. Nifty. But have you been on Facebook lately? For every one legitimate post with someone actually saying something, there are 50 spams of "so-and-so needs a sprolecktant prefactorzizant part for their doofliggityplunk in Dirtville, Help out!" or "so-and-so just made a thousand gold widgets playing Deadliest Fungi Hunt, come join the fun!". People, I don't care. I REALLY DON'T CARE. I'm not going to play any of those games anymore, been there, done that. I understand the point of them; they are silly little things to play that are harmless unless you're pumping real world $$ into them. But just trying to wade through the pages and pages of that to glean out real postings is really annoying as hell.

Then, it was Twitter. At first I thought it was totally stupid. Why would people want to know what I ate for breakfast? Or that I'm having a bowel movement? Or that my dog did something cute today? But as I found more people to connect with, and People Of Interest to add to my feed, it got.. fun. I like getting regular updates on my internet friends, how they're doing, quick pics showing little snapshots into their lives. Sharing bits of my life. It got personal. Even though I haven't met most of these people in real life, I feel a connection to them, and really do care about what's happening in their lives, I worry about them.

Then, it was Blogging. Ok, I admit it, I'm a terrible blogger. I just don't have that much to say on a regular basis, or the stuff I do have to say is nothing I would feel comfortable putting out on the interwebs for The World (or certain peoples) to read. So I update when I can, if I feel I have something interesting to say.

Then, it was Feed Readers. These let you keep track of a bunch of blogs you want to read on a regular basis, by organizing them and keeping all updates til you mark them as read. I use reader.google.com. I have a bunch of blogs that I follow that it dutifully keeps posts archived for me til I can go there and read them all. When I remember to go there and read them all.

Then, it was Google+. Really, Internet? Yes, I get how cool it is to have circles that move, so you can micromanage every person you ever knew into nice little boxes that you can label things like, "Former Coworkers" or "Close Friends" or "People Who Smell Like Soup". But yet ANOTHER place to log in to, to check for updates, and try to keep track of? I have Google+ but honestly I never remember to check it, and have barely added anyone into it. It's just MORE WORK.

I AM SATURATED. I work full-time, and ALL "social networking" sites are blocked from work, so I can either try to use my little Droid phone to read/post updates on all these places during work breaks, or wait til I get home where I have housework, kids, dog, cooking, etc to deal with.

I know I could just NOT read all of these, just let them go for a couple days or however long as I do other stuff. I KNOW. But I'm also a control-freak, and knowledge is power, so just KNOWING what's going on is extremely satisfying to me. If I leave off a couple days then that's that much stuff I have to catch up on. I'm also a geek, so I love being on the cutting edge of new technology or apps or the next "big thing". And, most importantly, these are friends and family, I don't want to miss out on what's happening with them. But, I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to keep track of all this stuff. I wish I had ONE place I could just have everything at a click. Some master interface that would integrate ANY social networking stuff I want to do, that wouldn't be platform proprietary or suck to use.

Anyone found anything that is a MCP for all this stuff? That isn't Apple iCloud?

Puppy Power!

2011-07-07T23:13:00.001-07:00

Ok, I admit it, Scrappy Doo was the most ANNOYING STUPID little addition to Scooby Doo. He was, however, pretty spastic and hyper, which is how most puppies are, including ours now!

If you haven't read the story of how we got our puppy Belle, read Rescue From The Rescue first.

We brought Belle home from the puppy ICU on Wednesday, June 29. They gave us a bunch of antibiotics to keep giving her, plus a list of other things to do like nebulizing and coupaging (which is NOT the same as decoupaging, rather disappointing because I could totally get into puppy decorating).

We could immediately see an improvement in how Belle acted. She had longer periods of time with more energy. Apparently no one explained to her that she's on restricted activity for a month, now that she could breathe better she was in full Puppy Mode. Explore! Chew!

Squeaky Toy!!!!

Oh, wait.... rawhide bone!!!

OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

Over the holiday weekend, we went to the family cabin, taking both cats and puppy with us. On the drive there cat Sebastian was freaking out at the moving car, and Belle was a little concerned, so they called a Truce.

Sebastian: Belle, Hold me! Belle: Zzzzzzzzz

They did great at the cabin, though Belle was an early riser every day and trying to keep her quietly occupied so as not to wake everyone else up was a challenge!

Belle had a followup vet appointment today, and her x-rays show that her lungs are getting clearer. She's still a little wheezy when she breathes. Not 100%, but a definite improvement over a week ago. Still on same meds and special care, but there's hope for a full recovery. Her temp and heart rate were perfect. Yay! She's gained a little over 3 lbs since she was there last, probably a lot of it fluid weight from her prior dehydrated state.

Belle's favorite way to sleep is on her back. She also loves belly rubs more than any dog I've ever seen. She's quite the exhibitionist.

Rub it! RUB MAH BELLAH!!!!!!!

Laser Dog commands you to rub the belly!

ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Belle has decided that Sebastian is one big chew toy. Sebastian actually wrestles with her, and never claws her even though he could.

If Belle gets too rough, he just escapes and hops up somewhere she can't reach. This drives her crazy with frustration, which Sebastian delights in. Sometimes Sebastian stands his ground, and you get the Mexican Puppy Stand-off. Which again drives Belle nuts. Ignore the patch of color on the wall, we're test painting colors to figure out what colors we want to paint the walls.

She loves to sit on the couch with her Daddy.

It's a rough life, but someone's got to do it

And no, the costs have not been exaggerated..

That's just the hospital bill, not our local vet bill. Oy.

A coworker friend Leslie works with animal rescue, and she spread the word about Belle's plight out to the animal lover community and my work. I received an email from Kerry with Animal Advocates in Spokane, Washington saying they wanted to help out with the mounting medical expenses we've been incurring for Belle. Neither Leslie nor I have even met these folks, and they still reached out to us. How awesome is that??

They sent us a card with a generous check made out to Belle's Vet. I can't even thank them enough for their kind hearts in helping our little sweetie get better!!

Hopefully things will continue to progress well, and Belle will make a full recovery. A big THANK YOU to all the friends and family that have expressed their concern and support during this whole situation, it's really helped us stay positive and focus on what is important -- Belle getting better!

Belle Update

2011-06-28T09:44:00.001-07:00

We've been calling several times a day to see how Belle is progressing at the hospital.

Can I go home yet?

So far they've tried several times to ween her off of oxygen, but she's just not able to breathe easily on her own yet. She's in isolation both to prevent spread of any respiratory ailment, as well as because we have STILL yet to get her shot records from the rescue group, so until we get her Distemper test results back as negative (which can take 5-7 days), she's a danger to other dogs.

We visited her last night, and could definately see signs of improvement. Her eyes are clear now, and very little discharge from her nose. She still seems lethargic but definately was interested in us. She's still on IV fluids/meds so her little front right paw is all bandaged up. It didn't seem to bother her except when she sat up and tried to shift herself.

Oh Hi

Because she's in isolation, you have maintain the Clean Room, so we had to put on plastic gowns and rubber gloves to be able to enter. Petting a puppy through rubber gloves really sucks, it doesn't feel like you're really comforting her, like you're not really making a connection. It reminded me of the TV series Pushing Daisies where the guy has to pet his dog with a fake articulated hand so he doesn't touch it.

Yeah! That's the spot! Scratch!!

We have yet to actually hear Belle bark, through all of this she has only whined once, otherwise she has been silent, and stoic, and pathetically sad looking. She was still coughing periodically when we saw her.

I see you..

The vet tech told us that Belle has been a total sweetheart, she may not have a lot of energy, but when they bring her food and she stands up to eat she's a champion tail-wagger.

So bored. They don't even have Animal Planet in here..

You can tell she's lonely, her eyes follow you wherever you move, and if you put your hand in to pet her, she tries to snuggle on you and go to sleep.

It's my hand now, you can't have it back.

It was so hard to leave her there, I can't wait until she's well enough to get off oxygen and start taking oral medicine so she can come home!

Rescue from the Rescue

2011-06-25T19:33:00.000-07:00

For the last couple of years our family has been living in rental properties. We had one cat, but we've really really wanted to get a dog. Unfortunately, most rental properties don't like dogs.

We recently moved into a nice large house, with a big fenced back yard. We acquired a second cat from the pound, and decided it was a good time to get a puppy.

After weeks of contacting breeders and finding out they were too high priced, and scouring websites, we stumbled upon a group called Saving Paws of Washington. They are a local rescue group that specializes in finding homes for dogs from disaster areas. They were planning on bringing up 90-120 dogs from the recent Oklahoma tornado disaster. They have volunteers go down, and video tape the dogs for prospective adopters. We fell in love with a little puppy they called Elisa. She is a lab-hound mix, reddish brown fur and friendly waggy attitude. She is 8-weeks old at the time of the video. We immediately contacted them, and put a deposit down for her. We went out and got various doggie accoutrement, excited and impatient for this new addition to our family. Best of all, she only cost $250 so that was much cheaper than a breeder, and we're giving a needy dog a home!

They told us they were bringing all the dogs up yesterday, they should arrive around 9am. We arranged to pick her up at 5pm. It took us less time to get there than anticipated, so we arrived around 4:30pm. As we walked into the little boarding kennel, the smell hit us. It was rank.. a combination of wet dog, dog urine, and dog feces. The place was rather run down, and dirty, and I was very glad we weren't letting our new puppy stay here a second longer than it took to get her unloaded and into our van. Well... we waited. and waited. They told us that the first of two vans had recently arrived, but that the van with OUR puppy on it was still running behind. We went to hang out at the mall and get a bite to eat for dinner, and then came back around 6:30. Finally at around 7:20 the van shows up. By this time there was a crowd of people all waiting to either adopt or foster, some that had reserved dogs like us, others that had just come to see what was available. We are told that they brought 25-30 dogs in each van. PER VAN.

As we waited a stream of workers started down the path from the van on the other side of the main office to the kennel. Each one was carrying a dog crate that reeked. As we watched, we could see that every single crate had two or even three dogs or puppies in it. Surely, we thought, that was just to bring them from the van to the kennel, right? Wrong. As they started to open up the crates to retrieve the animals, we could see feces and urine matting the shredded newspapers in the bottom of the crates. The animals were FILTHY, and stank so badly it was literally stomach turning. We continued to wait as they slowly processed each dog, bringing some out to the waiting families. They put water bowls down outside for these dogs, who proceeded to drink them dry. We were told that our puppy, whom we renamed Belle, was "in pretty bad shape" along with her brother, who was in worse shape. Wait, what?

In talking to one of the drivers, she tells us they drove 3 straight days from Oklahoma, with only one stop halfway to let the dogs out briefly. No food or water was given to the dogs during the trip. Let me repeat that. NO FOOD OR WATER WAS GIVE TO THE DOGS DURING THE TRIP. We are stunned. The older dogs and older puppies seemed to make the trip in better shape, though some of them are clearly traumatized, they won't allow anyone near them. The little puppies fared the worst. We wait as they get a can of dog food into the puppies, and then bring Belle out to meet us. She is a mess. Her fur stinks, and is coarse. Her eyes are so filled with gunk it's surprising she can see. Her nose is dripping yellow gunk every time she breathes out. She is lethargic and seems numb. Her belly is distended, probably from parasites, and her sides are gaunt. She is shocky.

The volunteer coordinator tells us we can take her to a 24-hr veterinary clinic close by, that they have an account with, and they will pay for treatment for her. We jump on the offer, and hurry her out of there. Her breathing is labored, she is wheezing with each breath, coughing from phlegm in her lungs. We head over to the clinic, finding it in a bad area of town. It's dirty inside, and hot, and they are short-staffed so we wait and wait to see the one vet. While we wait we use their little water cooler and get little cups of water to give Belle water. She drinks 3 little cups rapidly, then subsides back into lethargic suffering. As we're waiting, two more of the rescue puppies get brought in by their families, including Belle's little sister Ava. She is smaller than Belle, and black. She is so listless that she won't even drink the water they offer her.

Belle's sister Ava

Waiting to be called back to the vet / Waiting for the vet

The vet finally comes in to check over Belle. He confirms she is severely dehydrated. There is noise in her lungs when she breathes. She has a fever. She probably has "an upper respiratory infection." He says she can either stay with an IV for fluids, or he can give her a shot of fluids under the skin and send us home with antibiotics and a cough suppressant. We'd rather she stay, but when they check with Saving Paws (the rescue people who caused this trauma to her in the first place), they say they don't want to pay for that, to send us home with meds. They give her an antibiotic shot, a shot of fluids, and we're sent home with two pill form antibiotics and a liquid cough suppressant.

We get her home, upon setting her down on the floor she immediately wobbles over to a corner in the foyer and pees on the floor. Well, at least she's eliminating. We feed her some wet food and give her water. She inhales both of them voraciously, then seems to run out of energy and flops onto the floor. We put her into her big doggie bed (she's supposed to grow into it), and she falls into a restless, cough-filled sleep. The pile of doggie toys that we had gleefully picked out lays to the side, she has no energy to even show interest in them. This pattern repeats all night. Lem stayed up with her through the night monitoring her breathing, taking her out to go potty and trying to get as much food and water into her as she can hold.

Belle, exhausted

Sebastian: What the hell IS that thing??

I got up at 6:30am to take over for Lem, he went to bed, and again it was feed/water, wait about 20 min, try to take her potty, then let her collapse in wheezing sleep for a couple of hours at a time.

Briefly on her feet to go potty

No, really.. what the heck IS that?!

I give her a super-quick bath to try to get rid of the stench of her, she wasn't thrilled by it.

Can I go back to sleep now?

Sebastion: You still stink.

By the time Lem got up later this morning, it was obvious she wasn't doing much better. Her breathing was more labored, she was still completely lethargic. We decide to take her in to see our vet, who has Saturday hours. Her temp is up to 103.9 (normal is 100-102). After a vet check, she recommends we do x-rays of her lungs. They look filled with fluid, and the vet fears pneumonia. She also finds parasites in Belle's stool that she's taken an internal sample of, since Belle has still only urinated since we got her. The vet sends us over to a 24-hour emergency vet hospital so they can get her on IV Fluids, and shot antibiotics.

While we're waiting the 40 minutes to see the vet there, Belle starts going into periodic respiratory distress. Her lungs are so full of fluid she is finding it too difficult to fight to breath, so stops breathing for several seconds interspersed with her rapid, frantic gasping wheezing breathes. I run out the lobby and grab the vet that is debriefing the previous patient's owners. He runs back with me, and immediately rushes her back and starts her on oxygen. That was scary as hell. We finally see him, and he lets us know it's pneumonia. He's going to send the x-rays to the guy that reads them to verify. He says she has to stay minimum 24-48 hours, maybe even up to 5-7 days. She'll be on oxygen, they'll do IV fluids and antibiotics, and she may or may not live. They also need to run an array of tests to make sure it's not distemper (since Saving Paws has yet to give us any shot records, though they claimed to have given her 2 sets of shots already), or heart worms, or lung worms, or anything else gross and fatal. The estimated cost of the stay, depending on if she's out in 2 days, or has to stay up to 5 days, is anywhere from $1400-$3200. Our $250 dog has now surpassed the cost of any of the dogs we had coveted at the breeders. We've had her less than 24 hours.

We now wait to see if she makes it, and how long she'll have to be there. Not sure how we'll pay for it, but she's part of the family now. If we had tried to take her back, even if we wanted to, she would have died in that place for sure.

This is Belle, sleeping in exhaustion and trying to breathe, right before she started having serious breathing issues and had to be taken back and put on oxygen.

Here's hoping she pulls through this and becomes a permanent part of our family.

ps. And yes, we're reporting Saving Paws for animal cruelty.

UPDATED 6/26: As of this morning, Belle is still alive. She's slightly improved, eating, done a bowel movement. They hope to have her off oxygen by the end of today. No idea when she'll get to come home.

UPDATED 6/27: Belle is still on oxygen. She has ring worms and they have to test for distemper since we still have yet to get the shot records (if any) from Saving Paws. She has a good appetite, but gets winded easily and is coughing a lot. No ETA on when she'll come home.

Scent Elves

2011-05-16T17:35:00.001-07:00

It's time for another edition of.. Stuff I've Seen while out and about!!

Yes, that's right.. Edward and Bella, side by side. Now if only it was Jacob's Pizza.

Just in case you're on a long road trip, and you want to keep track of your deceased mini-passengers:

Possibly repeats, but in case you haven't seen them:

Careful, that stuff will go right to your head. Don't lose it!

Mmm.. A Puffin in every bite!

The only time this phrase is acceptable.

I'm tempted to get this, and send it to everyone I don't like. After I torture The Bieb by poking him to make him sing.

Ok this last one has so much WIN I almost bought it JUST because I wanted to encourage their marketing dept. to continue to think this way:

SCENT ELVES.

Library

2011-05-04T12:50:00.000-07:00

Stopped at the library last night to return/pick up books with my daughter. As we were leaving, we passed by the little mail boxes at the curb that the newspaper delivery people use.

Daughter: HA! Look! Someone who lives at the library has a last name "Journal"!

Me: .... um. That's for the newspaper delivery. *snicker*

Daughter: Oh. I just thought it was a funny coincidence that someone's last name would be "Journal" because it's on the side of the mailbox, since they live at the ..library.. if people lived.. at the library.. UGH! You're NEVER going to let me forget this, are you?!!!

Me: Nope!!

Guilt Wash

2011-03-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week I cleaned out the inside of our minivan. I'm the primary driver of it, and between myself and the kids it can get cluttered and crumby. I did a thorough cleaning, even vaccuuming it out. It was beeeutiful. Until I stepped outside of it. Months of road crud means don't ever lean against the outside of the van, your clothes will be a mess. I resolved that the next time I had to get gas, I'd get a car wash.

Last night I had a dream in which I actually stopped to get gas, and the station had this promo going where one customer a day randomly won a discount on their gas. As I was pumping, the pump flashes that I've won a half-price discount (WOOHOO!), but it wants me to swipe my ID, and suddenly I realize that it's LEM's ID we signed up with for their little promotion, and he's not with me, so I can't get the discount, and I was sad. Then I woke up. This is relevant, because when I got in the car this morning to head to work, I was therefore shocked to see my Get Gas Stupid light on.. hadn't I already gotten gas??? Oooh yeah, stupid dream. I forgot to mention the total for my gas in the dream was $89, AFTER the discount. I figure the way gas prices are going, this will probably be accurate in a couple months.

I stopped to get gas, and chose the cheapest, don't-have-to-mortgage-your-house-to-afford car wash they offered. It was the uber basic one, still cost $7. Pumped my gas, and drove around to the back of the station for the car wash.

Some car washes are all automated, where you punch in your receipt number and it wisks you along inside the building. This one you have to wait for the attendant. He came over, and I handed him my receipt. I then thought he would motion me to drive forward to get my tire hooked by the little dragging mechanism they have. WRONG. He then goes over and gets a long scrub brush out of a big soapy bucket of water, and proceeds to start scrubbing the back window and back of the van. No big deal, I thought, it makes sense since the van is sort of flat there so I'm sure the automated swirly brushy thingies can't really get it clean. And then he started on the sides. And the front.

At this point, I'm feeling awkward. Did Basic mean "by hand"?? I quickly note that it's mid-40's temp outside, and although grey and gloomy out not technically raining so at least he's not scrubbing in the rain, or freezing his tush off. He spends a good 5 minutes scrubbing all parts of the van. I'm desperately trying to NOT make eye contact because wow, that job must really suck and I'm feeling rather guilty for even GETTING a car wash because who knew it would force some poor shmuck to scrub my huge minivan by hand.. why do I have a car this big??? He finally gets done and let's me get pulled into what now seems to be the Car Rinse, not car wash. But it didn't end there.

As my car emerged from the other side, he's WAITING THERE for me, squeegie in hand. He then proceeds to squeegie and cloth off as much of the rinse water on my van as possible. Now I feel guilty for not just telling him I'm going to hop on to the freeway in a few minutes and it can air dry so please oh my god STOP trying to get every speck of water off!! And then I'm wondering if the guys that work there draw straws and whoever loses has to work car wash for the day. He finally got done and of COURSE there's a sign that says "Tips welcome" but I never carry cash and I've already paid $7 for this so now I feel guilty because he actually did work marginally hard, and probably makes minimum wage. Great now I feel like an asshole.

p.s. As I started driving on the freeway to work, I was munching on a breakfast of baby carrots, and I got one that had those nasty bitter green ends, so without really thinking I tossed it out my window (it's biodegradeable!). And then I realize there's a cement barrier there, and it's just going to lie on the INNER part of the freeway, so that when some poor woodland creature emerges from the forest on the OTHER side of the road, and attempts to get the carroty morsel, they will get completely SPLATTED by the busy traffic. OH GREAT JOB ME. I blame the Guilt Wash, I wasn't thinking clearly.

Frozen in Time

2011-03-09T10:08:00.000-08:00

As you go through your life on this earth, you come in to contact with so many people. Family, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and even the people you watch on tv and movies become People You Know.

If you picture your life as a line, then all those other People You Know's lines intersect yours at some point. It could be they run alongside each other for your whole life, or theirs, or maybe they only touch briefly.

During that time when the lines touch, you KNOW something about that other person. It could be what they look like, how they act, what kind of music they are into, shared experiences, etc.
Maybe you watched one season of a show, so for that brief time you "knew" those actors, what they looked like at that time, those characters.

When your lines diverge from each other, what you know about each other may no longer be accurate. That old high school friend may have been a heavy-set person in their youth, but has since gotten more fit and looks very different. You may even have someone else tell you this, but you can't actually update the picture in your brain of that person without actually seeing it. In your head, they are forever remembered a certain way, and until you see them again your brain cannot concretely imagine them any other way.

This can apply to things as trivial as actors you love in a show, when the show ends and you don't see them again for a long time, then suddenly they are there and Oh My God they're OLD! And their hair is different?! They're fat now! When did this all happen?? It just seems like a minute ago they were young. Your brain just got an update on them, and has to process the new information to catalogue it and put it into the little box it keeps for that person. We were just watching the first couple episodes of Dexter last night, and Denise Crosby was on it. She played Tasha Yar in the first season of Star Trek: Next Generation many years ago. I haven't seen her since, so it was very jarring to see her older, with wrinkles and heavier set. Now that's how I'll see her in my mind's eye from this point on.

It can also apply more personally. Someone you know dies, and although you continue on, their line stops. My brother and mother are both dead. They are forever in my head as they were when they were alive. They will never age. They will never change. My brother is forever pulling coins from behind ears, and juggling, and going on enthusiastically about That game or That music. My mother is forever walking in the woods, pointing out nature to me, painting, forever suffering from various health issues. I clearly remember how they looked in death, but my brain rejects that as a temporary state, it wasn't what they REALLY were. They are frozen in time and will not get an "update" in this lifetime.

I don't think having People You Know frozen in time is necessarily a bad thing. It's just something our weird brains do as a way to keep track of stuff. It's a little sad that as you get older, this happens more and more as people drift apart or die. I guess that's just life.

Driving To The Store

2011-01-01T17:05:00.000-08:00

Megan: I want to get dogs!

Adam: Is it true that female dogs tend to be less aggressive?

Me: I believe so. That's why when we get dogs, they'll probably be female. And spayed.

Megan: Good thing. Unless they've been mutated with frog genes. Then they'd still reproduce.

Me: True. You can never tell.

**********************************************************

Me: See that? That's the HUGE mall (points)

Megan and Adam: WOOAH!!

Adam: Geez how'd they make it that huge??

Megan: See.. there's a Girl store, and that one's a Boy store, and they sort of got together, and had a bunch of minimalls.

Adam: Oh, yeah, right!

Megan: And then they had a McDonalds inside, that BURST out and made it's own company.

Goodbye, My Dear Friend

2010-11-19T13:13:00.001-08:00

Once in a while, you come across someone in this world that is just genuinely a nice person. Someone that is patient, and kind, and supportive. My friend Gayle was such a person. Gayle died today after fighting with all her might against cancer. I count myself among a large host of people that are mourning right now for our friend that we, and the world, have lost.

I first met Gayle at the community college where I was taking classes in Sign Language back in 2000. I had taken ASL 1 the previous quarter, so I could sign my name, ask basic questions like "How are you?" and knew the signs for some foods and other vocabulary. In my first class we hadn't been allowed to use our voices except at specific times allowed by our teacher, who was hearing. The first time I walked into Gayle's classroom, I expected it to be similar. There was a lady standing at the front, greying hair, careworn face, with soft eyes and an easy smile. She moved slowly and deliberately, as if not to spook us in our first-day-of-class nervousness.

Her hands started moving, and suddenly someone sitting next to me started to speak! I glanced over and realized it was a sign language interpreter.. my someday goal. Gayle explained that for today, and for a few more classes, she'd have sign language interpreters to help us all get started. After that, we'd be on our own so we better learn fast!

Gayle was the first Deaf person I ever truly interacted with. She had been born hearing, and gotten ill and lost her hearing later in life. I never actually heard Gayle use her voice until several years later, when I volunteered to help interpret for the local Special Olympics where she helped coordinate. I hadn't even known she *could* speak with her voice, it just never occurred to me and in my head I had always "heard" her speak when she signed anyway.

Gayle was an awesome teacher. She had the patience of a Saint, repeating things over and over, and finding different ways of explaining things until we all could grasp what she was trying to convey. She had a great sense of humor, joking around in class and keeping learning FUN. You could tell she loved what she was doing, that she loved the language, and she was happy that we all wanted to learn it.

She gave us assignments that required us to *gasp* TALK to other Deaf people! I was brave and went to a Silent Weekend the college sponsored each quarter, where you couldn't talk all weekend, and instead it was hands flying with Sign, and me using a notebook and pen to try to ask people what they were saying. It was scary, and overwhelming, and yet as fun as hell and completely addicting. I went to almost every Silent Weekend after that. Gayle continued to help us all grow in our skills, I fell in love with the Language, and I knew this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

Over my years at college, I'd run into Gayle and chit-chat. My then-husband took ASL classes too, and had her for his teacher, so one year for Christmas we got Gayle the ASL Teacher Barbie toy as both a gag gift, and a homage. I think it really tickled her, I still have the matching one we bought at the same time for us. Every time I look at it I'm reminded of her standing up at the front of the room, with her hands dancing in patterns slow and elegant.

After I graduated, I started helping out with the Silent Weekends. I joined the committee, and once the instructor retired who had been running them (the amazing Chuck Gramly, who deserves a whole 'nother post), Gayle eventually took over the job. It was so much fun to be able to meet with a bunch of my friends, Deaf and hearing, and plan and scheme and just have a great time. Gayle brought her warmth and giving nature to these events as well.

I went through a really rough time in my life a few years back. With my marriage in shambles, my life in total upheaval, Gayle was like the Rock I could cling to in the storm. She was absolutely supportive, understanding, and sympathetic. She listened when I needed a friend, she didn't judge, and she was there for me. I thank God every day that I had the privilege to count Gayle as one of my friends. I have missed her since moving cross country last year, and now knowing she's not there anymore, my far-away Rock still teaching, breaks my heart. I'm glad she's at peace finally, but I sure feel sorry for myself and everyone else stuck here on this earth without her.

I love you, Gayle, you'll be sorely missed.

Night, pre-raid

2010-09-27T20:45:00.001-07:00

Me: ARGH! I need to go the store, but I don't really have time before raid.

Adam: You should go to the store.

Me (suspiciously): Why?

Adam: To get the stuff.

Me: What stuff? (thinking he knows of something we need)

Adam: Uhhh whatever the stuff is you need to get..

Me: HA! Maybe I don't NEED stuff! Maybe I just want to go to the store and walk around!

Adam: Well that would be... weird.. I don't think you're THAT weird... are.. you?? *trails off*

Me: *glare*

The Fair

2010-09-20T13:05:00.001-07:00

Whenever I think of going to the Fair, I always get the song from Charlotte's Web (the original cartoon, not that hack remake) that Templeton the rat sings about the fair.. "A fair is a veritable smorgasbord orgasbord orgasbord, after the crowds have ceased... Each night when the lights go out, it can be found on the ground all around..Oh, what a ratly feast!" Because as we all know, one of the main reasons to go to the fair is the yummy, horribly unhealthy food!! So bear with me because a lot of this rambling will be about fair food. Yuuuuum!! I'm probably describing events out of order somewhat, but it was a couple weeks ago so cut me some slack.

Two weekends ago we went to the Puyallup Fair with our kids and in-laws. This being Washington, the weather cooperated with alternating torrential downpours and sunny skies, often changing within minutes. What is this.. Ohio with the psycho weather mood changes?!! Geesh! Dummy me of course left my sunglasses in the car because it was grey and yucky and rainy when we arrived, only to bemoan the fact later when the beaming sun came out.

We arrived early, and squished into the fairgrounds. We of course had to hit up the obligatory and traditional Fisher Scones vendor and get scones for breakfast. This is something so weird to me.. in Ohio you don't find scones at a fair.. well to be honest I don't think you really find them anywhere. Apparently Fisher has been making scones and been part of northwest fairs since 1915. o.O

They are hot, light and crumbly and almost-biscuit-like, triangular and pre-sliced and slathered inside with honey-whipped butter and rasberry jam. They are utterly delicious.

Once fortified, we headed for the first vendor building (mainly to get out of the rain!) Inside were all the vendors you normally see at the fair, that would be repeated tenfold throughout all the other fair buildings. Mattresses, massaging chairs, candles, beanie babies, and more. We found an odd little booth setup with a boardgame called "The Tower of Mystery" (http://www.towerofmystery.com/), and discovered the salesman that was waxing enthusiastic about it was in fact the inventor. It sounded intriguing, and we're all about the boardgames, so we made a note to ourselves to head back and buy it before we left so we wouldn't have to tote it around the fair or run out to the car. Megan also found a beanbag animal seller that had various lizards and stuff so we knew we'd need to head back there to get an addition to her beanbag lizard collection.

After that we wandered through the rain, looking at chainsaw-made wood sculptures and benches, the working blacksmith (with their fancy tiny natural gas forge, at 1800-2300 degrees. Back in MY day, we used WOOD for our forges, none of them fancy gas jets! ..I digress)

We wandered through the draft horse barn, the show horse barn, they had signs up *everywhere* asking you not to touch the animals "for their health and yours" which sucked because EVERYONE knows how utterly irrestible a soft horse nose stuck through stall bars can be. We were all VERY good though it was agonizing and didn't succomb to the temptation. The coolest horses imo were the Norwegian Fjord that looked like it had stepped off a cave wall with it's prehistoric back stripe and short, spiky mane, and the huge black percheron that apparently someone was using as a riding horse, which freakin ROCKS.

We alternated walking through more vendor buildings, and more animal buildings. When we were wandering through the cows (not dairy) every huge steer I saw made me drool.. steeaaak. I'm a carnivore and not ashamed of it. We wandered through the agriculture building and saw vegetable competition entries made to look like things, designs, and freaky huge pumpkins. All this made us hungry!

We ate some lunch, shared a huge rack of BBQ ribs, mediocre cornbread, and freshly cut string french fries with lots of malt vinegar and ketchup. And.. Roast Corn!!! If you have never tried fair roast corn, you are missing out. Make sure it's a place that actually roasts it in husk, and then once it's done pulls down the husks, and holds them to dip it in butter before handing to you. DELICIOUS. If I could have gotten away with it I would have eaten a dozen of these alone for lunch.

We checked out the retro farming area where they have an old-time washing tub with crank ringer, a fake shaving straight razor with lather and mirror, and other pioneer-esk stuff. It was rather soggy underfoot but the sun finally came out so we split up and took our kids to do the rides.

I went on a little coaster with Meg (fun!) and then the kids went on the big wooden roller coaster, then again on the one we had gone on first, and then spent the rest of their tickets on carnival games. Pro-tip parents: No matter how you explain the science of how carnival games are rigged so they are extremely difficult to win, your kids will want to try them, and probably not win. Make sure you do a sure-win thing like the dart balloon throw. Meg was proud as punch that she popped a couple balloons and won a tiny ugly little stuffed purple cat. We bought the obligatory cotton candy (NOMNOM, blue is the best flavor), and headed back to meet up.

We hit up more buildings of cows, goats, pigs, chickens, rabbits, lions, tigers and bears Oh My! (ok maybe not those). When we were in the Dairy Cow barn there was a mamma cow apparently giving birth so they had part of it sectioned off, and it was late and we were tired so didn't stay to try to crowd with others. We did however go to the other part of the building where they were giving out free samples of Darigold Chocolate milk, the BEST chocolate milk you can buy (and most expensive -- boo!) It tastes like melted chocolate ice cream.

We remembered just in time about the Beatles tribute band "Imagine" that was playing so ran in and got some seats under partial cover (that almost kept us from getting rained on). They didn't really look like the Beatles, were dressed in Sgt. Pepper sort-of uniforms, and 2 were from California and 2 from Utah! But, they sounded pretty good, and hey, free Beatles music YAY!! Lem ran to the bathroom mid-way through and brought me back some Darigold chocolate milk <3.

Megan wanted to stay forever in the little petting zoo petting the pygmy goats and the little 8-week old baby bunnies, but eventually we got hungry again and since it was pouring rain once more headed to the big food court building. Unfortunately, a skrillion other fair-goers had the same idea so it was rather packed. We eventually found seats and ate our various foods, I had a rather good chicken caeser salad and stole some of Adam's fair fries w/malt vinegar and ketchup.

We walked through more buildings with a zillion vendors, managing to resist most of them. Had to get some Seattle Fudge, and some fresh honeycombs dripping with honey for the kids to eat. Delicious! It was getting late, so we stopped to get Elephant ears for everyone to eat, and then ran back to get our board game and Meg's lizard (just as they were closing shop - whew!).

Very footsore and exhausted, we headed back to the van and homeward. A great day for all, and totally worth the big blister I got on my toe from walking around all day with wet socks!

How'd They Do That?

2010-09-20T11:03:00.000-07:00

I'm constantly amazed as I go through my life at how crazy smart and inventive people are in this world. Did you ever use a neat gadget or gizmo, or enjoy the convenience of our modern world, and think, "How'd they even THINK of that??"

Like, the sewing machine. I know how to use a sewing machine, and I understand the basics that it has two threads, the main spool and the bobbin, and it intertwines those two threads in a way that keeps them from unraveling through the fabric. What I never knew was how COMPLEX this process is:

http://bit.ly/10ZaoY

I mean REALLY, I can't even imagine just sitting there fiddling around bits and bobbles, and trying to make some mechanism that could do that.

Another thing that amazes me is flight. Not that it's possible, or how it even works.. that people were brave enough to just TRY it, no parachutes, no inflateable safety chutes.. check this out:

http://bit.ly/alle8g

1908?!! And do you see how high they fly at one point.. they're just sitting in basically an antique ultralight aircraft I would hope with some form of seatbelt, but even so.. yikes!!

I am really thankful to all the people that have preceded me that have come up with all the amazingly cool stuff that I almost always take for granted in my life. It's not only the big stuff, even little stuff like staplers, and nerf guns.. those every day things you use.

I am perpetually fascinated by history and how people lived and survived in a world without modern medicine and technology. If I had access to a time machine it would be so neat to go back and visit the past, but I sure as hell know I wouldn't want to live back then. Give me flushing toilets and computers ANY day.

I Almost Got Into A Nerd Fight At Gamestop

2010-09-14T15:50:00.000-07:00

Halo Reach came out today for Xbox 360. Yet another installment in the Halo franchise, that to me looks exactly like every other installment, but my son really wanted it, and pre-ordered it with his own money.

He reminded me about 30 times in the last three days that it was coming out, and I happily failed to inform him that there was actually a midnight release date Monday night, since frankly it was a school night so it would have just been torture for him to get it and not be able to play it anyway.

On the way home from work today, I in fact ALMOST forgot to swing by Gamestop and pick it up. A quick detour into the turn lane at the light past that and I circled back and parked to head into the store. I figured since I missed the midnight launch, all the screaming fanboys would have been and gone and I'd be right in and out. HAHAHAH! The line stretched the entire length of the store and started curving back in on itself.

I dutifully took my place at the end of the line, and more people were coming in every minute to get behind me. The 20-something guy in front of me starts explaining to me that he *was* here for the midnight launch, there were about 150 people outside waiting, and it was chaos. So glad I missed that. He then goes on to explain he lost the receipt on the way home that apparently has the code printed on it for the special in-game armor you can activate. Suuucks.. so he's back to get a reprint.

Apparently he's friends with the three 20-something guys BEHIND me, because they start Nerd talking about various games that are displayed around us. I vaguely pay attention as they are discussing Halo Vanquish, for which a big poster is on the wall above us. "What's that?," I ask..
This opens the FLOODGATES OF HALO NERDTALK... and after about 10 minutes of being peppered with information (much like pepper-spray, this made my eyes burn. Or that could have been their unwashedness). I find out essentially it's another Halo expansion coming out in a few months, but THIS time it's made by Sega and not Bungie.. so, yeah.. you know. *blank look from me* "It's basically the same Halo, but set on a different world, you know, it's like Star Trek vs. Star Wars."

WOAH. Wait a second. You did NOT just start something, did you Nerdboy?! His friend behind me even says, "Weellllll.. I was going to have to address that, but, now that I think about it.."
The guy in front of me then goes on to start his Star Trek vs. Star Wars comparisons, on how they really are the same (The Force = Q, for example, and how they both just want to find new places and kill people, except that Kirk would first sleep with everything before killing it, etc.). I was ready to go all Jedi on him, but then his friend chimes in with, "Yeah but I always liked Picard better." I turned around and actually high-fived him*, and the crisis was averted.

I finally make it up to the counter after having to endure them debate Dead Rising 2 and if in fact you could realistically swing around a pole with 2-chainsaws tied to the ends in a Darth Maul-type fashion (consensus: no, but the game will probably still let you), and the fact that The Gig game that is coming out will let you use a REAL guitar when you play boy band music so you're not gay at all (ok I might have thought that in my head as they debated real guitar vs. controller guitar).

I show my ID, and the guy brings out the Halo Legendary that my son reserved. Holy SHIT.. the box is ginormous. I'm literally embarrassed to reach over the counter and heft it away as other people are walking away with their little slim game cases. I asked the guy if it came with a dead puppy in it, since obviously there were no air holes for it. He said probably at that price.

That's my minivan in the background. I'm pretty sure you could hide a small child in this box.

It came with a bunch of extras, including a "statue" of "action figures":

Isn't Lem's computer chair sad looking? My son informs me that the blue guy in the front middle USED to be gender ambivalent, you could choose male or female, but NOW they've made the chick on the left of him in blue so that there's no confusion, because, as he says, "You can see they made her more..er.. curvy and feminimmem." *blink*

Is Cataclysm out yet?
----------------------------------------

*and unsurprisingly, his hand is warm and sweaty. Ew.

At Subway

2010-08-02T20:15:00.001-07:00

Me (lays head against wall): I'm so tired, I need a nap

Meg: If you fall asleep I am SO takin' the car. I'll go to Mexico, and buy a chihuahua, and dress it in a taco suit, and then I'll let it pee on you to wake you up. And then you'll be like, "Whuuh? What's with the taco?" And I'll be all innocent like, "Hmm? I don't know what you're talking about."

Me: Wow. Well it's good to have goals.

On The Way Home

2010-07-30T19:00:00.000-07:00

Discussion with kids while driving home from park:

(me: not really paying attention to the chatter from the back seats, tunes in suddenly)

Meg: No! Only pregnant ladies have those.

Me: *mildly alarmed* What?? What do only pregnant ladies have??

Meg: Mood swings.

Me: HAHAHHA! Ohh no, my little one, just wait until you are a Lady, then you too will have them, probably monthly. Periods cause hormonal fluxuations.......

Meg: MOM!!!!! Oh my gosh I can't believe you SAID THAT ADAM'S HERE..

Me: Hey! This is important stuff for him to know too. Someday he might have a girlfriend or wife, and he'll have to deal with this. Chocolate, Adam. And foot massages.

Adam: Oh great mom, what if my wife's allergic to chocolate. YOU JUST KILLED HER.

Me: GRR fine then whatever she likes.. icecream...

Adam (with condemnation): She's going to be a diabetic.

Me: ARRGHHHH

(general laughter)

Misnomer

2010-07-29T14:02:00.000-07:00

We are currently trying to buy a house. We've been trying to buy a house since April. It's a big lovely house with lots of room, not a huge back yard but adequate. It's also a short-sale, which actually means it's not.

For those of you who haven't gone through the house-buying process, a short-sale is usually when a borrower can't pay the mortgage loan on their property, so the bank that holds the mortgage decides it's better to cut their losses and sell the property. This lets them avoid a foreclosure which is long expensive messy process.

Now.. "short-sale". Those words imply some sort of expedited process, don't they? Well WRONG. This is one of the biggest misnomers I've come across. What it really means is that the bank or banks involved are the ones calling the shots, and as everyone knows when you get banks involved things take FOREVER. This particular sale actually has TWO banks involved, since apparently the seller took out two loans, so that just doubles the red-tape. Oy.

So now we have school almost starting, and although the new house and our current location are the same schools (our main priority when looking for it), I really wanted the kids to be able to start out from Day 1 on their new bus route and we'd be all settled in before that time. Damnit.

Keeping our fingers crossed we hear something soon, the whole thing has been very frustrating as it's completely out of our hands at this point. Banks suck.

Jetta, You Missed The Mark

2010-07-27T12:53:00.000-07:00

As I drive around running errands I usually listen to my car radio. I tend to tune out commercials (just like at home when watching TV) however if they repeat often enough I can't help but notice them.

One recent commercial is for some sale that Jetta is currently holding. The premise of the commercial is that people are calling leaving messages for other people to say they can't make it to whatever appointment or commitment they had because they simply MUST go to this sale and/or are currently test driving one of the cars. Some of the calls are:

1. A sewer guy calling a client to cancel appointment, can't miss that sale!
2. A woman calling to say she's going to be late for a baby shower because she simply has to go test drive one of the cars
3. A dad calling his daughter to tell her he can't make it TO HER BIRTHDAY PARTY because he's test driving a car.
4. A woman calling her husband to tell him she can't make it to their child's Kindergarten screening and telling him to 'cover for her'.

Wait.. what? Seriously? Jetta, did you just say that coming in to test drive one of your cars is MORE IMPORTANT than my child's birthday party???? Oh well, I'm sure there will be PLENTY of other birthday parties but that sale, boy it won't last, right?! Kindergarten? Bah! That's not really a milestone event for a kid, right??

Or is this ad aimed at the type of people that would indeed blow off these commitments to go drive around a car?? I can't really fathom it, and it UTTERLY OFFENDS ME that Jetta would think this type of ad would in ANY WAY appeal to parents who value and love their children and have their priorities straight. Every time I hear it on the radio it makes me SEETHE with anger. What if little kids are hearing that ad, and they're hearing these "parents" minimalizing what should be really important things? What message is that sending??

Jetta, you suck.

Say What??

2010-07-11T17:14:00.000-07:00

Usually I have my camera with me, and as I'm going about life if I notice something amusing, or odd, I'll snap a pic of it. Here's my recent ones:

While in a gas station to snag some munchies, we came across this fine vintage wine:

For your domestic squabble this evening, we recommend the cabernet sauvignon...

Really she doesn't look very mad to me? Oh wait! She's probably drank a few bottles of this fine $7.19 wine. And hey, if she's still mad, at least it's a red wine so it'll nicely match your blood! Er..

Ok wait. What? Bread in a can? BREAD IN A CAN? No, we're not talking bread dough, it's an actual small LOAF OF BREAD?!! THIS is what makes America so great!! Mmmm raisins..

An important public service announcement that we should all heed:

Hey! YOU! STOP EATING BABIES!! Geesh.

While at the Dollar General store, I happened across a few products:

Ok is it just me, or do you immediately think of Lassie, the famous TV dog? So you're basically saying I have enough hair on my legs they look like Lassie? I'm so offended!! And here I was going for more of a Bigfoot look..

This was in the hand cream section:

NOT going to make any boobie jokes here, but wtf??

So wait.. you're selling something that was developed for use on dairy cows at the dollar store? Does your average farmer usually shop for Udder Cream at the dollar store?? Perhaps this is a demographic that dollar stores have been missing out on all along!!

Yes, this world is still a crazy place.

The Day You Realize

2010-07-09T19:11:00.000-07:00

Today I was cleaning my house in preparation for company coming over tomorrow. You know how it is, you're in The Zone, just busting away not really paying attention to anything just Clean Clean Clean.

We have an area upstairs that we call the Rec Room. We have a TV there, a computer, small table and chairs and a couple comfy chairs to sit in while you watch TV. My 12-yr old daughter has recently been spending a lot of time up there, usually when her brother is playing on the X-Box downstairs and we're on the other computers. She watches TV, or plays on the computer, or reads. We call it her "lair" since she's put a blanket down and has little snacks and toys up there.

She and her brother are currently away visiting family, and so I was up there cleaning unhindered, and I came upon a notebook. Not just any notebook, but her "Notebook of Awsomeness!!" (and love) <-- written in a heart.

*gulp*

Did I read it? Heck yes!

Recently she's been very into the Twilight books/movies. We read them all before her to make sure they were appropriate, and then she read them, and we all saw the movies together. She's printed out pictures of Jacob, Edward, Carlisle, and Jasper and taped them into the pages, writing those silly gooshy things that girls write about boys they like. Already my heart is aching as I realize that my little girl is not so little anymore.

I turn the page and she's written a poem. It's about Edward, and it's beautiful and so well done and mature that my tears start. She's also started writing a story where she is a werewolf in that world, and it's good and at the end she's drawn a gorgeous picture of a wolf in pencil. I won't type her poem here without her permission, but I admit I typed it out and saved it somewhere on my computer just to have it permanently.

She's growing up. SHIT.. when did this happen?! So many more things to worry about now, so many more things to have to deal with. I hope I can guide her through this new phase of her life, and I hope she understands that to me she'll always be my little girl.

Bon Voyage! Day 6 - Ketchikan Alaska

2010-06-29T20:25:00.001-07:00

The next day we stumbled up to the Lido deck and ate breakfast at 7am so we could get ashore for our early excursion. It was a gloomy rainy day but we were all too ~~stupid~~ rugged to bring our umbrellas or rain ponchos (which we had bought and brought SPECIFICALLY for this trip).

Our first stop of the excursion was the Lumberjack show, which was a quick walk from the dock. We headed over to the Lumberjack show store, where you wait til you get to be seated in the (thankfully) covered little bleachers area where the show is held.

Hey! Stop prospecting for children, creepy guy!

The store sold a bunch of really amusing stuff, like:

Beans and beer cans! Now that's taking Green to a whole new level!

Finally, time for the show! Unfortunately I somehow forgot to charge my camera battery the night before, so I didn't take too many pics of the show to save it for later. Plus they were moving so fast I couldn't get many good shots anyway in the rain.

They had two little shacks with the two different "group" names that were competing. One was of course representing the US, and the other Canada. They split up the audience into two groups so each side could cheer for "their" team, and taught us all how to yell, "YOH-HOH!!" really loud to egg them on. Our side (US) had a bunch of fuddy-duddy's so Canada always got more yells.

Getting ready to chop a log, super fast

CHOP FASTER!

Axe throwing, you could kinda tell when one guy was "messing up" on purpose to keep the teams even in score til the end:

The Harley of chainsaws. Fully mod'd, it was LOUD and viscious. Lem was making Tim the Toolman grunting sounds.

Chainsaw carving, silly-style:

The show was fun to watch, with log rolling, pole climbing, and a relay race, and of course US won! Then it was head over to the bus to get to our next stop - Totem Bight State Park.

This park is actually a place where the government went out in 1938 out and gathered up all the remaining totem poles made by the two native tribes (Tlingit and Haida) after they had abandoned their villages to move to places with more work. Since totem poles only last 70-80 years (which I didn't know) almost all the totem poles in the park are actually replicas, carved from cedar wood. There is a few restorations.

The forest is vast here, it starts out as a new growth forest:

With some seriously funky looking trees:

That then changes to an old growth forest. There were quite a number of cedar tree stumps, that now have hemlock trees growing up out of them using the stump as nutrients:

After a period of time the cedar stump breaks down, and the hemlock tree is left standing with it's roots forming a cage, sometimes so dense bears or other animals use them for shelter:

Once we reached the cleared area where the totems and Clan house is, the pathways were surrounded by HUGE bushes I'd never seen before, which millions of still-ripening berries:

They're called salmon berries (Megan: EWW!), because as they ripen and darken they look like little clusters of salmon eggs. This one wasn't quite ripe, but I eated it anyway and it was a little bitter but still yummy.

Now, for totem poles! Each pole tells a story, but interestingly enough ONLY the tribe who "owned" that story was allowed to tell what it meant. That means when the non-natives moved in, and asked what they meant, if they asked the wrong people then they'd just get a "shrug: it's a totem pole" answer and a lot of stories were lost as people and tribes died out. The guide told us some of the stories, which the living descendants of those tribes have given permission for them to share.

Neat Raven on the top.

This tells the story of one clan that slaughtered another one by luring them into their clan house, but then the wounded tribe got revenge. It's amazing how something little on the totem can mean so much, like the smile (which is hard to see here) on the top bear means they got revenge.

The guide talks about the Clan house. It was really big and had an area in the center floor for multiple fires - one for light/warmth and a different one to cook on. The two tribes were led by men, however bloodlines were passed on through the women. They had to marry outside the clan, which means if an Eagle man married a Raven woman, then her children were considered Raven and their father couldn't even teach them because he was an Eagle clan. Uncles and other relatives in the tribes were very important for this reason.

The door in/out. It's actually been enlarged by about double, it was made small on purpose so visiting clans would have to enter one at a time with their heads down in case of treachery (Boot To the Head!).

Top of the clan house. One of the tallest totems in existence.

This is a Potlatch totem pole. A potlatch is when they would all get together for a festival. They would carve rings on the top figure's hat to show how many potlatches they had held. They wouldn't add rings as they had more potlatches, instead they'd let the totem eventually fall, and then carve a new one with the correct number of rings.

This is a bear at the top, with bear foot prints going up both sides like it climbed up it. There was a big long story attached to this about a man who fell in love with a female bear, and they married and had a cub, but then the man and female bear were bantering back and forth one day pretend fighting and the bear cub, who was very protective of his mother, misunderstood and killed his father in rage. The female bear climbed up to the top of the highest mountain and cried and cried forever more, which is why the water runs from the top of the mountains down into make rivers and streams.

There were HUGE skunk cabbage along the edge of the forest. That's my foot at the bottom:

The guide said skunk cabbage are one of the first plants to bloom in the spring when the snow is still on the ground. They have a yellow pod that sticks up above the snow (that stinks), and the freshly awakened bears from hibernation come out and eat it because it's a natural laxative, and after being asleep for months they need to get things movin!

Back to the docks, we ran around to the various stores we wanted to visit.

No Lem, we're not getting that for our house.

Then got in line to get back on the ship. The line was super long and it was POURING rain, so we were soaked by the time we finally got on board.

Dinner Time!

They had paper chef's hats at each place setting. This was the night all the wait staff sang songs and did the "napkin dance" (ie: enter the room in a line waving our napkins around before they stuck them on our laps). They had a woman singing with a mic somewhere but she apparently was hungry too because she was trying to eat it so it was hard to understand her. Next time maybe they can feed her a snack first so she can take the mic out of her mouth.

GAAH!! The appetizer is looking at me with it's eye stalks!

Megan helpfully finishes off my Oxtail soup. It was either that or Lobster Bisque (YUCK!), I was the only one at my table to get the Oxtail soup (which I thought sounded equally repulsive). It arrived and looked like a little shepherd's pie with a golden brown pastry top, and the soup did NOT have a big ole cow tail stuck in it like I imagined, but did have little shreds of beef and vegetables and was DELICIOUS. Enough so that Megan would eat it, which is saying something. Everyone at my table was jealous, because apparently the bisque was inferior even for bisque.

Matt models his hat.

Grandma Wittman sparkles once again. It was cute all the waiters called her "Grandma" too!

After dinner we went by Kim & Joel's cabin to take a look at the set of formal pics they had bought of us. We got various pics taken after both formal nights. It was REALLY funny one night because that was one of the few times the ship was experiencing a lot of motion back and forth, and all of us women in high heels looked like drunken sailors trying to walk down the corridors. We all got positioned on the stairs for pics and the ship would pitch back and forth and all of us would lurch back and forth giggling and clutching each other.

Hey! Looks like Kim & Joel's room steward left them a present. Aww I was so jealous he was so cute. Til we went back to our room!

Aww he's got his tongue sticking out!

From 11pm - midnight this night there was a Dessert Extravaganza on the Lido Deck. Apparently this is some super secret spy thing, because they have very few LIGHTS so you were kinda bumping into people and it was really hard to actually see the desserts they had made. Then again this probably hid a bunch of imperfections.

Megan was annoyed that they wouldn't let her eat the decorative bread animals.

What the offspring of the Chiquita banana lady and a Dalek would look like:

An amazingly beautiful carved watermelon:

This one's actually a little creepy looking

Earlier that afternoon there had been an ice carving demonstration (presumably carving for this event), and Megan was watching it sneaking the carved ice chips to eat. Having seen some master ice sculptors' work, I can safely say these are cruise ship quality carvings.

WTF is this thing?? A peacock? A phoenix? Michael Jackson with his hair on fire???

There were a bunch of cakes that had these for decoration, made with white chocolate:

Also some that had some basic sugar work. I'm sure they couldn't do very tall poured sugar, the ship's vibration would shake them to pieces (see, all those Food Network Challenges learned me good!)

Look! A big stack of heart attack! Really it tasted as bad as it looked:

Ok.. why the chefs thought a bread SPIDER (on the right) would be cute is beyond me. I just wanted to step on it.

Formal night for the vegetables. The white carved turnip is rather lovely.

Megan's night is redeemed when she finds out she can charm the chefs into giving her the dragons from the cakes.

FYI poured sugar (at least theirs) doesn't taste as good as it looks. It tasted vaguely like blue kool-aid.

We headed to bed after this since it was midnight *YAWN*. Thus ended Day 6!

Bon Voyage! Day 5 - Sitka, Alaska

2010-06-29T19:15:00.000-07:00

Since Sitka is an extremely small port (like, stand on one side of the town, spit, you hit the other side.. well almost), we didn't have an excursion planned. Instead we decided to just walk around the town. I declared since we had had utterly unexpected gorgeous weather (everyone in Juneau said it always always rains so we got really lucky) that'd we'd have grey skies and rain from that point on, and indeed we did! Sitka was originally settled by the native Tlingit people. Russians moved in, Tlingit killed a bunch, Russians came back and waged war and eventually took it back. It was kinda dumb we had 8 hours in this port when there was actually very little to see or do, and then a very short time in Ketchikan the next day and even less time with a late arrival for Victoria Canada the next. Dumb.

Breakfast on deck:

The town is so small, in fact, it doesn't have a place big enough for cruise ships to dock, so you have to tender in on the lifeboats. A deck is a perfect place to get off the ship!

A deck?! I'm sure glad our ship had one!

Finally into the tender!

Ok everyone remember where we parked

On the way in to town, we stop to try a local delicacy, Reindeer Hotdog!

Mmmm.... Rudolph! NOM NOM NOM. No, it didn't taste like chicken. It tasted like a hot dog.

Sitka has a very rich Russian heritage. You can see the influences all throughout the town. I completely forgot about the old Russian cemetery outside town, but some of the other family members went and they said it was really creepy. It was all wild and overgrown, with sunken areas where the old wooden coffins had collapsed over time. We opted to check out the Russian Cathedral of St. Michael in the center of town:

It was built in 1848 and burned down in 1966 and was then rebuilt.

It's Greek to me

Everything was oh-so-shiny

Looking up. They're still collecting donations to fix the fire-damaged roof.

side view

Now, time to wander the streets and browse the shops!

Here's hoping the stick refers to the kabobs

Fossil of the prehistoric cave bear, locally found. It was HUGE

AGH! It's descendant is attacking!!

Ok.. not really.

The glee only a child can express after being allowed to purchase a dead animal to wear on their head:

Adam went for a more mundane hat:

Megan's is a real coyote pelt/head. Oh boy can't wait til that sucker gets wet.

Ohh! Fur shop! Sorry PETA people, I loves me real fur. Megan is distracted by the store greeter:

While I'm distracted by something else entirely:

Del: glances at Lem. Lem's exact words: HELL NO!

Megan, upon coming over and seeing the back of it: WHAT THE CRAP?!

Can't really blame her there.

Back to the ship just as it started to sprinkle (quick! get Meg's hat indoors!) and time to dress for the last Formal dinner:

Bond. James Bond.

For some reason Megan's head looks enlarged. Perhaps it's the influence of the Wolf hat, as she calls it.

We saw whales spouting and a small pod of dolphins swim by during our dinners, not sure if it was this night or not. Later Kim & Joel went back to their balcony room, and as they were sitting outside a whale breached right in front of them in the water. So very cool. I want a balcony room next time!

Adam is once again being tortured into smiling for a picture while Lem wishes for a fan.

Thank GOODNESS all our chairs had chair-condoms, because you know SAFE DINING should be a priority for everyone:

An example of one of the desserts. All the portions were "small", but very good. This is molded white chocolate on the right, that has a rich chocolate mousse underneath it:

The stuff sticking up is a crispy pastry thingie.

After dinner, we went to go see one of the ship shows. It was the comedian Lee Bayless who was actually *very* funny (even Zach's dad was laughing!) and family-friendly.. which was good because Adam came along with us still dressed in his tux since the "teen prom" was later that evening for the Loft group. The comedian asked for a couple volunteers from the audience and Kim was one he picked!

After playing with them with some word games, he did a really cool card trick involving both that we still can't figure out.

He was so funny we ended up buying his DVD and he autographed it for us.

We had passed the Piano Bar a bunch of times while on the ship, and there was a guitar guy there who was AMAZING. His voice sounded so much like Johnny Cash that if you closed your eyes you'd think he'd come back to life. He played a 12-string acoustic guitar, and had a voice like rich honey. Brad, Diane and Matt had taken to camping for every set he played, and Matt got him to sing "Devil Went Down To Georgia" by the Charlie Daniels band even though the poor guy didn't have a fiddle. He ad-libbed the fiddle parts HILARIOUSLY and soon every set they'd get him to play it at least once. He was very talented. And patient. It soon became a running joke, and all the audience would help out.

Just as his set was finishing up and he was packing up, Great Grandma and Grandpa walked by, and Diane snagged her without guitar guy seeing and pursuaded little 87-yr old Grandma into approaching him.
Grandma (hesitantly): "Can you play The Devil Went Down To Georgia?"
Guitar Man: *second of stunned disbelief* "OH YOU!" He gave a BIG hug to Grandma as we all burst out laughing and Diane comes around the corner "That's my mother-in-law!"

We headed back to the room and ended up watching a movie with Megan while Adam did his prom thing.

Aww, Big Black Doggie has a friend now!

Very clever

We had an early stop the next day in Ketchican (7am!) and our excursion started at 7:30am (we were only in Ketchican til 12:30) so we went to bed early-ish. Thus ends Day 5!

Bon Voyage! Day 4 - Glacier Bay

2010-06-29T17:34:00.000-07:00

Remember I warned you about all the landscape pics? Here they come!

Our next day was another Day at Sea, however this one was special because we'd be going into Glacier Bay National Park into the inside passage waterway and stopping next to a couple tidewater glaciers (glaciers that go to the edge of the water, they have 9 in total in the park). We would go and stop next to Margerie Glacier for half an hour, then they would slowly pivot the ship in place so the folks on the other rail side could enjoy it for half an hour (less crowding at the rails, theoretically). Next to the dazzling white-blue of Margerie Glacier, the dull dirt-covered Grand Pacific Glacier suffers by comparison (you'll see, keep reading!)

The day turned out to be utterly beautiful. More sun, barely a cloud in the dazzling blue sky. A few folks on deck told me they saw a mama whale and her baby near the ship in the wee hours of the morning about 6:30am, but we didn't get on deck til about 9 am so we missed them.

The cruise lines boated over a couple park rangers to stand on the bow and point out stuff and basically talktalktalktalktalk giving us occasional education and continual annoyance.

Heading into the inside passage:

Beautiful mountains.. they're everywhere!

oohhh.. pretty.. zoom time!

John Hopkins and Gilman Glaciers, they are slowly merging. This is the only advancing glacier in the park.

Zoomed out:

It looks like the cloud got stuck on the mountain top

The ship makes a visually pleasing wake. We were moving *very* slowly as we inched into the passage.

The water really was this weird color, kind of a dull aquamarine color. It was actually a thick layer of silt, then salt water, then fresh water.

The water was so still even with our slight movement it was like glass.

As we were going the Rangers pointed out a brown bear on shore, it took forever to find it by binoculars and it was a tiny little brown buff ball on the shore. Another forced reminder how very big the landscape was.

On the right is Grand Pacific Glacier in all it's dirty splendour, you can just see a peek of Margerie Glacier on the left.

Almost impossible to see, but there's actually a sailboat to the right of center just below the shoreline. It looked itty bitty next to everything.

A couple bald eagles chill out on a floating glacier hunk:

Even going slowly, our ship stirred up the top layer of silt floating on the water. The little sea terns loved to swoop down and fish for stuff we'd bring to the surface.

Poor glacier gets a bad rap for being so butt-ugly, but when you're neighbors with this:

it's understandable. Margerie Glacier

There were all kinds of pieces that seemed so precariously attached and they looked like they could fall any moment. It's the only time I've ever wanted to have one of those horribly loud annoying sports horns (NO not a vuvvuzawhatsiwhosit) just to see if they would fall. We did see a couple smaller chunks fall (like.. car-sized), they go KASPLOOSH! and the sound is like thunder and a huge splash wave sprays out. We also saw a few huge black chunks suddenly POP up next to the wall because they had broken off from underwater probably from our turbulence. They were easily the size of several cars each. I've heard that weird ice cracking sound in movies that almost sounds like a metal wire snapped in an echo chamber when ice is cracking deep down, and here we got to hear it several times and it's REALLY creepy in real life.

Heading back out of the passage:

Note: It took almost an act of God to get either kid to stay out on deck long enough to see the glaciers. Megan wanted to go back to her room in the pool (harhar) and Adam wanted to go back to hanging out with the other teens in the Loft. Geesh.

Time to get ready for dinner in the dining room!

*sniff* my babies are growing up. Adam looks pained in his attempt to smile.

Okay slightly better.

Get the impression we did a lot of waiting around til it was our reservation time for dinner and everyone showed up? You're right! Because the kids were IMPATIENT so we always ended up getting there too early. Not because they were hungry, but because they wanted to be ANYWHERE ELSE. Ha! Poor children forced to interact with their family and eat fine cuisine. *rolls eyes*

Matt is the master silverware stacker. He has way more patience than Megan.

It's Kim's 29th (again) birthday! Time to embarrass her by having the crew come over and sing for her!

Smile, Birthday Girl!

After another interesting dinner we headed back to our room (seriously how many obscure fancy dishes can they make? Thank goodness they had a kids menu with stuff like hot dogs and french fries megan could order, plus you could always order steak, which she did).

Aww look, the towel animal fairy visited again!

Penguin!

Sunset at sea:

Thus ends Day 4!

Bon Voyage! Day 3 - Juneau, Alaska

2010-06-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

You thought I had a lot of pics up til now? HA!

The ship didn't dock at Juneau until noon, so we didn't have to get up super early which was nice. We ate breakfast on the Lido, not wanting to waste time in the formal dining room. Already we were being treated to magnificent views on all sides. It's really impossible to describe the sheer scope of how big the mountains and landscape is in Alaska. Truly you feel like a tiny blip in the scheme of things by comparison. The colors were amazing, deep blues, lush green, and stark barren grey rocks. Another GORGEOUS day, sunny, bright, and mid-70's.

Hmm... let's zoom that.

So beautiful.

An old fishing shack. It looks lonely, you can see where there used to be a dock around it that has long ago washed away.

There were tons of recessed waterfalls like this, if you didn't pay attention you'd be past them, and then because the sides around them jutted out so far you would never even know they were there. What's funny is this and other stuff look so *small* in the pics but really those trees on the right are probably at least 40-50 feet tall.

Approaching Juneau, a great view of the Mt. Robson tram:

We headed to disembark, and go meet our excursion bus. Our first stop was the Mendenhall Glacier. It's about 12 miles long, and is a retreating glacier. It's also completely cool to look at.

Just arriving. As we walked down towards the glacier, from behind me piped the voice of a little boy telling his dad, "Ok daddy, watch for polar bears. It's hard to see them 'cause they're camouflaged." LOL

It's amazing what landscape sculpting glaciers do as they move.

The rocks were fun to climb, though you had to be careful where the face had been worn smooth by the passage of ice.

To the right of the glacier is Nugget Falls, zoom time!

Yes, dummy me wore a sweater, because everyone knows Alaska is COLD, right? I was roasting all day.

There is, of course a perfectly good paved flat path that winds down from the Visitor Center to nearer to the glacier. We of course did not take it. We instead climbed along the jagged, crazy rocks that were to the left of it that led to the same end point. Yes, we are nuts.

In the lake at the base of the glacier, huge pieces were floating. Everyone always talks about how "blue" the glaciers are, but really most are either covered in silt and dark/dirty, or are so dense you really can't see that amazing blue. It's really when there are deep crevices that you get a glimpse of it, or in this case when pieces break off:

This is what we traversed along the side of the path. Paths are for wimps.

Just beautiful, and HUGE

Closer view of Nugget Falls.

It's amazing all the gouges and lines caused by the ice flow:

Glacier ice looks like a puzzle of ice pieces that are interlocked.

I also learned that because of all the silt the glacier picks up/gets compacted with, there's no way to actually completely filter it out. Any attempts will constantly clog any filter used. So if someone is trying to sell you "genuine pure glacier water" it's fake.

Time to head to the Visitor's Center! They had binoculars set up so you could view the mountains/glacier. Someone said they saw mountain goats but they looked like tiny white dots to me! They also had various indigenous wildlife exhibits/pelts, that Megan LOVED:

Mountain Goat.. say AAHHHHHHH

Adam was rattling the hooves around.

Brown Bear

They also had a gift shop, and everything was (of course) outrageously priced. Megan (to Lem): "Oh my gosh these finger puppets are $8.50?! How on earth am I going to get you to buy them for me??!!" We passed..

We piled back into the bus, and headed over to the Salmon Hatchery. When I pictured a Hatchery in my head, I figured they just hatched a bunch of fish and released them into the wild. What they actually do is hatch the salmon, then make sure they imprint on the water at the Hatchery, then release them so they can travel out thousands of miles to sea. They always return to the Hatchery to spawn, and of the billions of fish they release they get millions of pounds back that they can then sell to cannery companies.

Because of all the fish in and around it, there are TONS of bald eagles that hang around the place. We saw easily 7 or 8 wheeling around and diving for fish not too far down the way by the big shipping containers. So cool.

The fish ladder at the Hatchery. It's over 500 ft long and the fish can take a few hours up to a few days to navigate it's entire length.

They have outdoor tanks where the little fry start growing, and conduits that eventually allow them to congregate into a different tank when bigger:

Ok these things are actually FREAKY BIG. Like, 3-4 feet long. I had no idea, and being that close was like.. EWWWWW.

The obligatory painted wood cut-out picture prop, with the kids humoring us:

Inside the Hatchery they had a store that sold salmon prepared 50 zillion different ways, an AMAZING huge tube aquarium you could walk around that had (again) FREAKY huge fish like a moray eel that was about 6 feet long and as wide around as my thigh (that's big, people), ginormous starfish with waaay too many arms to be anything but some sort of mutant alien thing that was waiting to actually suck our brains out, and a touch tank, with thankfully rather normal-looking starfish and crabs:

OMG Bald Eagles up close and personal! Of course.. they're stuffed..

Megan admires the brown bears rather large claws

That fish is actually about four feet behind them. It was huge. And dead. And stuffed.

We then bused our way back to the docks, and wisely took the kids back up to the ship and dropped them off in the pool/teen area respectively and headed back to shore to walk around the town without them, because we knew it would bore them to tears. Big thanks to Great-Aunt Diane for coming to the rescue when Meg scraped her knee at the pool and needed a band-aid.

Building deco in downtown Juneau:

Nice view walking down the sidewalk:

I bet people that live here for years get inured to the gorgeous landscape and don't even notice it. How sad.

Our guide throughout the tour continually stressed that black bears like to wander around town, and be careful etc. All the trashcans were bear-proof -- you had to actually lift a latch under the lid to get it to unlock so you could lift the lid:

We didn't see any bears in town, though.

There were a bunch of dwellings high up all over the hills around town. There are no roads or paths to get to them, only a multitude of stairways:

Can you imagine going up several hundred stairs with your Costco load? Yeesh.

Walking around in the sun had made us thirsty and wanting to sit down, so we headed over to the Red Dog Saloon, that has real saloon doors that open both ways:

We sat down at our table.. and then.. looked up. What the..??

Ok this place is AWESOME. It has an amazing ambiance.. it really feels old time/western. There are collections of dollar bills signed and stuck all around the back of the bar. There was a gun from Wyatt Earp that had been checked at the door and never claimed way back when. A collection of ship life preservers high up on one wall, and more. We both ordered a Duck Fart each and tossed it back. It was actually kinda creamy sweet and better than I expected, though it had a kick. I decided to try an Alaska Amber beer, and Lem ordered an Alaska Summer beer. His tasted more bitter than mine to me, and mine tasted like.. um. beer. Did I mention I'm not a beer drinker?

The menu. Look at the Liquor section.. love it!

They had a really great guitar guy playing, guess he's holding out for that really big tip..

We headed back to the ship, and back to our room and discovered our nightly adorable towel animal:

Awwwwwwww. The eyes were printed out on paper and cut out. We're not sure why he kept making Lem and my's bed with Megan's blanket??

The mountains around Juneau

As we were getting ready to pull out of Juneau, a couple bald eagles flew over to get to their nest in a tree on the other side of the ship:

An opportunistic crow takes advantage of the distraction the eagles presented:

NOM NOM NOM

Since this was a port day we all fended for ourselves for dinner so we ate at the Lido deck. Early to bed so we could get up early to see Glacier Bay. Thus ends Day 3!

Bon Voyage! Day 2 - Day At Sea

2010-06-26T12:58:00.001-07:00

The beds were very much like sleeping on boards, so didn't get a good night's sleep. Lem and I very smartly brought our own small fans, which I highly recommend to anyone cruising esp if you go on this ship, because everywhere you go the temp was inordinately HOT, esp in the eating areas. We ended up always eating outside on the Lido deck if possible. This day ended up just as sunny and beautiful as debark day. Today we opted to try eating breakfast in the Rotterdam Dining room instead of the self-serve buffet on the Lido deck. Big mistake. It took an hour and a half for us to get our food. We did have a nice conversation with two sisters sitting at our table that were from Georgia. They were typical southern gals, very funny to listen to them banter.

Since this was our travel at sea day, Adam and Megan had specific times they had to meet us to check in, but otherwise were free to either hang out in the teens Loft area for Adam, or Club Hal for Megan. Or, of course, the pools:

This is the indoor heated pool on the Lido deck. The ceiling splits apart and is retractable.

Megan pretty much lived in this pool whenever we weren't off the ship on excursions or not eating. She made a friend named Gabriella who was the same age, and they became pool buddies for the entire cruise.

She was also pretty happy that kids were allowed in the hot tub:

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Looking down from the walkway above the pool on the outside perimeter of the ship. They had the retractable ceiling open it was such a nice day.

On every other cruise line I've heard of, or been on, you can buy a soda card. This costs like $20-30 and gives you unlimited sodas (aka pop) the entire cruise. Holland America sells a soda card that gives you 20 fountain soda punches. LAME. They also sell a cocktail card that has 10 punches on it, and saves you a little money overall. The kids each got a soda card, and Lem and I each got a cocktail card. This is the day I discovered Pina Coladas. Understand, I hate coconut. No really. As much as I hate garlic and onions. However, apparently I like coconut milk. Lem ordered one and I took a drink and WOW.. yuuuum. I used quite a few punches on my drink card for this one!

While the kids were off having fun in the pool and the Loft, we went to an interview with Capt. Keith Colburn from Deadliest Catch. He and his lovely wife were on the ship for the duration, he did a couple cooking demonstrations (he used to be a cook) and this interview. I found him to be extremely well-spoken, intelligent, and very likable. He gave all sorts of nuggets about behind-the-scene stuff from the show, like the fact that he's actually kicked the camera crew off his boat three times because they crossed the line and had started to negatively impact his family and/or job.

I might have totally snuck a pic of his formal pics with his wife.. it was funny in almost all of them he kept his Wizard hat on, even with a tux! Not putting it here since it wasn't my picture.

Dinner Time! Formal Night!!

More enthusiastic kids! Really though Adam
is just tired from staying up late.

Lem helps Adam get all snazzied up.

Slowly the pieces come together..

AAGH!! ZOMBIE! Hey nice tux..

Adam cleans up real nice!

Lem all fancy

Hey! It's me! And Megan.. hiding under a shawl.

("ok mom, stop taking pictures GRRRR")

Kim enjoys the sun.. HEY LOOK OVER HERE!

There we go...

Me and Grandma Wittman

What do you mean the food isn't included in the cost?!!!!

Ok actually Megan stole my camera and Grandpa hammed it up.

Nate looking very suave.

And his mom Diane shows off her anniversary gift -- chocolate pearls! No.. not real chocolate, but real pearls!

And her hubby Brad keeps the imaginary indoor birds from taking a shot at his head. I guess?

Noah and Allie make such a cute couple!

Yay! Dinner. Hey, where'd it go?? Did someone hit this with a shrink-ray?!

And Megan sneaks over.......

Megan and her favorite Washington uncle. Of course, it's her only Washington uncle..

Grandma Wittman sparkles

On the way back from dinner. WTF is that sculpture about?!

Manta Ray! Tonight was the first night in a series of Towel Animals left for us by our room steward, which was pretty neat. We headed back and changed out of our finery after dinner (*whew!* it was HOT on this ship everywhere!) and then wandered around to the Ocean Bar for drinks while the kids did their thing. Adam spent the night again with Matt and Nate, but they all got busted by Diane for staying out past when she said they were supposed to be back in the room for the night so he got sent back to our room early morning next day and lost some privileges. Silly teenagers.

Thus ends Day 2!

Bon Voyage!

2010-06-26T11:23:00.000-07:00

As some of you may or may not know, my family just went on a 7-day Alaska cruise. I could just dump all my pics to Facebook, but I'd rather torture you by writing a day-by-day account of the trip interspersed with photos. I'll warn you that there's a bunch of "landscape" photos coming.. normally I don't like taking pics without family members in them because later you're like, oh.. yay.. a bush *YAWN*, however Alaska was too beautiful NOT to take landscape pics, so deal with it. Oh, and this is going to be hella long, even if I break up each post by day.
********************************************************************************

Cruise Day 1

We all got up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (wait, seriously, where DID this saying come from, anyway?!) early that Friday morning, packed all our last-minute toiletries and then loaded up the van. We had a general time-line we had to follow, so after a quick run to the store for a few things we needed, we drove through the golden arches and headed up to my in-laws' house. The plan was that everyone was going to meet up there, and then we'd take a big hired bus to the docks. This would make it easier, since there were 14 of us in total going -- my family of 4, lem's parents, his mom's parents, his brother and brother's fiance, and his aunt and uncle and their 2 kids Matt and Nate. Whew! A lot easier to coordinate if we all meet up and ride together. The weather was GORGEOUS.. sunny, warm, no rain at all.

Loading the bus:

We're heading to the ship!

Mother-in-law Kim digs for something while Megan plays on her DS.

Lem's brother Noah with fiance Allie. Hi Nate waaay in the back!

Nate and Adam smiling in the back. I think Lem is asleep.

The Grandparents and awww isn't she cute?

We made it to the docks with no problems, retrieved our mountain of luggage from the bus:

and proceeded through check-in. We found out a few days prior that we *might* need a notarized letter from my ex stating he was aware we were taking the kids out of the country (Canada, geesh).. and he obligingly got it to us. Good thing, cause they asked for it! *whew*

The ship! Pronounced "zan-dam" which of course leads to all sorts of stupid merchandise using the " 'Dam " like 'Dam Friends'. Ugh.

We were greeted on board by a string quartet, who were VERY good. Lem says they were Russian. I think that some of them looked really young to play so well:

And then walked past the center of the ship by the Main Office, where they had this ginormous pipe organ that played by itself, and had little figurines around it that played instruments by themselves, clockwork-style.

I didn't take a bite out of the pic, it was a lamp in the foreground.

We all headed up to the Lido deck to catch some lunch while our rooms were being prepared:

NOM NOM NOM hey look, it's Seattle!

We headed down to the room to dump our stuff, we were fortunate to get an Ocean View room this trip, though honestly the windows were so HORRIBLY FILTHY on this ship that it gave light, but not view. The little bit of extra elbow room and slightly bigger bathroom were worth it, though.

A quick pic of the boat harbor next to the ship while we wait to sail away, I liked the sea wall:

Then we checked the kids into the kids' programs (separated by age) and Lem and I headed up to the Crow's Nest to relax:

We all kind of did our own thing during the days, and the whole family met up each night for dinner in the Rotterdam Dining Room, where you couldn't wear jeans/flip-flops/t-shirts. You can imagine the kids were Sooooo enthusiastic about this but I told em TOUGH it was payback for us going on the cruise. Lem looks excited about it too:

waiting outside the dining room for the rest of the family to show up.

The wait staff..um.. waiting. Most of the crew seemed to be from Bali, and a lot of the guys would sing under their breath as they cleared tables or poured drinks. I asked one guy to translate and he haltingly described a sad love song. It sounded better in Indonesian.

Still waiting... it takes a while for over a dozen people to all converge:

Hey! Is that Jaws?!!

Guess not.

Brad and Diane and their kids get their turn sitting next to G&G. Brad
is my mother-in-law's brother.

Daughter Megan looking lovely.

And it's the Patriarch! Lem's Dad arrives in style.

Soon followed by his mom and brother.

Grandpa sits next to Megan just so he can annoy her through dinner. Love it! Kim shows off her bling.

Mmmmmmm fruit.

The sun beams in on Megan and her Grandpa

All the corridors on each level had prints and other artwork on the walls. Each level was sort of themed. Ours was nautical pictures (go figure). This was on the wall near the elevators. Rather neat looking painted tile:

After dinner we headed back to our room to change back to comfy clothes. Every night at dinner your room steward (ours was Daniel) goes in and makes the beds up.

Lem opted to sleep on the side that's partially under Megan's bunkbed. And then spent the entire rest of the cruise banging his head on it whenever it was down. Yes, Megan brought both her blanket, and Big Black Doggie. Mmm chocolates.

Adam's bunk, which used to be the couch:

We then wandered around the ship exploring:

The back Lido deck outdoor (heated) pool. What the?? What's with the cows?!! Must be just for you, Dad:

At the Crow's Nest, looking down alllll the stairways:

Lem and I crashed early, it was a long exhausting day. Adam stayed over in the other boys' cabin and Megan I think stayed up watching a DVD in our room. The ship had tvs and DVD players in all the rooms, and a very extensive library of DVD's you could borrow (2 at a time) from the Main office. Thus ends Day 1 !

Gone To The Dogs

2010-06-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

I must admit, I don't currently own a dog. I did, however, grow up owning dogs at various stages of my life, so I feel okay in expressing some thoughts about them. And I have kids, and dogs are like furry kids, right?

As I was driving to work this morning, I was behind a pickemup truck that had a dog loose in the back truck bed. It was a black, generic hound-mixed breed looking dog, and was tall enough it could stand and have it's head over the side of the truck bed. It roamed back and forth from one side of the truck to the other as we drove down the city streets.

This made me nervous.

I realize that dogs aren't completely dumb, and it would probably not just randomly jump out of the truck. But still. I wondered what would happen if a cat happened to walk down the street right next to the road, or if some other desirable distraction occurred. There was nothing to keep the dog from jumping out and running right through traffic. In looking into the cabin of the truck, I could easily see there was only the driver, no passenger. Why wouldn't you just put the dog in the seat next to you?

Honestly I've never understood why people put their dogs OR kids in the back of a truck. These days I believe it's illegal in most states to put your kids there -- no seatbelts/unsafe. Isn't your dog a member of your family? Why would you put it in a definately unsafe position? What happens if you have to slam on your breaks and your doggie is wandering the truck? Or if you get rear-ended? I remember finding online a neat little pet harness that would allow you to strap in your pet to seat belts. Wouldn't it be safer to have them strapped in by your side, or at least in the cabin with you? But then it occurred to me if you have air bags, I bet they aren't rated/tested for dogs. Would it potentially be worse to have your dog there, then? Someone research this and tell me!

One other thing.. Doggie bandanas. I don't get it. Yes, they can be moderately cute, I suppose. For some reason I've always perceived these as sort of.. er.. 'redneck'. Perhaps when I get dogs again I will suddenly be overcome with the need to add clothing accessories to them. I doubt it. Guess this is a wait-and-see thing.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Smells

2010-06-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

I've had the discussion before with my husband, where you think about all the human senses (smell, sight, hearing, etc) and do the "what if" game.. What if you had to lose one of your senses, which one would you pick? I always pick sense of smell. I figure basically just means I'd have to pay attention to food expiration dates a lot closer, and suddenly food texture, not taste, would matter (and hopefully I'd lose weight!)

Thinking about that made me ponder what smells I truly love, and would truly miss. Here's a list of my top Favorite Smells, in no particular order. Yes, a bunch are farm-related, too bad... I'm a farm girl at heart. Smells aren't always about something that smells "pretty".. some smells are bridges to a memory or experience that can provoke good or bad feelings. I'm only going to talk about good ones. :)

1. Horse. There is nothing like going horseback riding, brushing down your horse and just smelling HORSIE all day. love it. It says wind in your hair, muscles moving beneath you and Power you are being allowed to guide. Soft whiskered noses that nuzzle you looking for treats, and wild beauty.

2. Leather. No, not leather like you're thinking, you pervs. Whenever I smell leather, I think Saddles. Which leads to #1.

3. Hay. When I was younger, we lived on a farm and grew and baled our own hay. We had a hay loft that we would stuff with bales of hay, which we kids then spent hours playing amongst. My oldest brother would construct hay tunnels that twisted and turned and were awesome. This smell brings all that back. We won't talk about us jumping from the hayloft top beam to the barn floor into the pile of straw there. Right next to the farm equipment.

4. Cut Grass. I love love love the smell of freshly cut grass. It smells so green, and alive, and juicy, and fresh. NATURE IN MY NOSE!!

5. Flowers. To be specific: hyacinths, freesia, star-gazer lilies, lavender, jasmine, and honeysuckle. Like smelling ambrosia.

6. Dead skunk. Yeah, I know, I'm weird. This makes me think of long lonely country roads, where you don't pass a car for miles, but there's always a dead skunk somewhere to tickle your nose hairs.

7. Fresh baked bread and cookies. Fresh baked stuff just smells darn good. It's instant mouth-watering, snag some before it's cool and burn your mouth but so worth it good.

8. Baby shampoo. When you cradle your baby in your arms, place your face against their little head, and just inhale. This smell mingled with BABY smell is just heavenly. Just smelling the shampoo now triggers memories of my children when they were itty bitty. They grow so quickly.

9. Pine trees. I love the smell of pine (I even use Pinesol for mopping). It makes me think of Christmases growing up with live Christmas trees where the smell permeates the entire house by Christmas morning, and quiet pine forests where the only sound is the creaking of the trees in the wind.

10. Cow manure. Nothing says FARM to me more than this smell. It says hot summer days laying in a field listening to wild birds, and falling on my ass trying to ice skate on the neighbor's pond, and hands filled with tiny baby chicks feathers soft as a whisper. This smell makes me homesick for a simpler time when I was younger, had less responsibilities, and could just jump on my horse bareback and ride around like a little hoyden.

What are your favorite smells and why?

Pieces of Me

2010-05-18T13:02:00.001-07:00

My grandmother died recently. She had been struggling with her health for awhile, and towards the end could barely even eat. Now she's at peace.

I am sad. I am not heart-broken. I wasn't that close to my grandmother. My mom (her daughter) had a completely fucked-up childhood, and part of me was, and is, still angry at my grandmother about it. I do have good memories of my grandmother. I remember her singing around the house. She was the only person to ever call me "Shel-baby" even when I was grown. She was stubborn, and opinionated, and loved the Lord.

What makes me more sad, in a selfish way, is that as I get older, and family members and friends pass away, it feels like I'm losing pieces of myself. There are shared experiences that perhaps only myself and that person knew about, and now I am the sole keeper of that memory. My brother and mother have already passed away. There are memories that we shared that no one else in the world did, and now it's up to me to remember. It's a scary responsibility. I have trouble remembering what I need to get at the store without a list. I know so many things have slipped away as time has passed, and I mourn the loss of every memory. Now I see the attraction for blogging, or journalling, or writing memoirs. It's a way we can desperately get everything we remember out somewhere where other people can share in the memories before they are lost forever.

When It Rains.. Hey Wait This Is Seattle..

2010-05-05T10:42:00.001-07:00

I've come to the conclusion that sometimes life feels like it's in league with the big Hollywood movie production companies. Ever notice how it seems that the SAME type of movies all come out at the SAME time? Like.. oh look.. 4 space movies hitting the big screens, or.. oh ok 3 different CGI movies.. It's like they have little spies in each others' offices, and are leaking what the projects are and they ALL must make the exact same type of movie for some stupid reason. There are, of course, exceptions but it's definately a trend I've noticed over the years.

How, you ask, does this relate to Life? It seems to me in life that things seem to hit in waves, and it seems to be the same TYPE of stuff.

Right now, I've got the following birthdays coming up within the next month and a half: two kids, my son's girlfriend's, my kids' biological dad's birthday and my mother-in-law. I love my kids, and you'd think I'd be a Pro at these birthday things, but boy they are stressful. I don't have a clue how people with multiple births can do it.. even dealing with TWO kids and all their friends in one place all birthday-party-hyped-up is hair-pulling! I've got to remember to send cards for the out of state folks *before* we get on our upcoming cruise, and my mother-in-law's birthday will occur while we're on our upcoming cruise, so I'm sure we'll all have fun celebrating it together... by watching her play in the ship casino *wink*.

I have a good friend in the hospital recovering from surgery (HI WALF!). He sounds like he's on the road to recovery but it's frustrating not being able to go and visit and ~~tease~~ support him during this time. I also have a dear friend back in Ohio that just started going through chemotherapy for lung cancer. And.. yesterday I found out my cousin Teresa who lives on the east coast has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, and will be undergoing a double mastectomy and chemotherapy. In all of these situations I am far away, and helpless, and can only send my support and prayers. UGH. I want to be there making casseroles or pet watching, or just HOLDING THEIR HANDS by their bedside as they go through these challenges.

Have you noticed this type of trending in your life, where it seems that everything hits at once, and it's all similar?

Clash of the Yawns

2010-04-25T20:50:00.001-07:00

So we took the kids to see Clash of the Titans today. Deciding that since it was originally made in 2-D, and the extra cost of 3-D, we opted to go for 2-D.

Without giving away major spoilers, I can say the following:

I love Greek and Roman mythology. I went through a phase in my youth where I devoured books about it. This movie raped my childhood. I am, perhaps, a bit harsh, but I'm also coming from a childhood where I grew up watching the original 1981 Clash of the Titans movie. This aint it.

In my opinion, the film makers decided they wanted to make the bad-ass mother of all monsters, the Kraken, and then just kind of fudged a story around that. I was never able to emotionally connect with the hero Perseus (played by the main guy from Avatar). He seemed surly and angry and brooding the entire time and *checks IMDB* yep I thought so his Australian accent creeps in throughout his dialogue making me go where the hell are you supposed to be from again??

In order to drive the plot the filmmakers throw in a bunch of random sketchily described characters that thankfully you never really get attached to since you know they're all monster-fodder for the most part. The hunters are amusing, if albeit a complete mystery as to who they are or why they are even in the city.

The liberties taken with traditional mythology had me grinding my teeth throughout, and a few times I was like WTF seriously? UGH.

The action scenes were for the most part so rapid-paced I feel like I missed half of what was happening. The whole movie felt rushed, thank goodness for the plot device of having someone with them the whole time that "knows the way". What a time saver!

Now.. having said all that, I can tell you it was at least entertaining, esp I'm assuming if you have NO knowledge of the prior movie (psst.. watch for a nod to that movie in this one -- that was awesome!), and NO knowledge of mythology. The kids liked it far more than I did, being less critical.

And, Pegasus rocked. No, seriously. Like.. they did such a good job on him I was in awe. I want him. Did I mention my favorite-ist horse breed in the entire world is Friesians? Now, take one, add REALLY good cgi wings. Yeah.. instant WIN. I admit it, I'm a horse lover so I notice horses in movies. Friesians tend to be used quite a bit since they are so striking, elegant, and have amazing natural action. Lem has told me he'll go back to college for genetic engineering and will find a way to splice wings onto a friesian. He's da man.

If Life Was Like The Matrix spoilers

2010-04-23T09:59:00.000-07:00

I will be discussing certain plot points from the movie "The Matrix" in this post, so if you haven't seen it, then WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW!
Anyway..

Society today is all about instant gratification. We want our food cooked FAST! Even the microwave doesn't cook stuff fast enough. Hate waiting through commercials? DVR that sucker and you can fast forward through them later. I want my tax refund NOW NOW NOOOWW!!

I've often come across situations where I really really wished that life was like the Matrix. No, not the freaky pod-people-as-batteries part, I'm talking about the vast database of knowledge you can plug into your head and INSTANT LEARN. I mean, seriously, is that not the very DEFINITION of instant gratification?! When I start to even try to consider all the stuff I'd want crammed into my brain, I wonder if perhaps the brain has a capacity that I'd reach (yes yes, I know we only use 1/3 or something ridiculous of our brain, but I'm talking MAJOR CRAMMAGE here).

Some of the stuff I'd Jack into:

1. Martial Arts. Yes, ALL of them. I want to be able to defend myself with so many different styles it would be so amazing the bad guys would just stop in their tracks and be like.. "daaammn.."

2. Sign Language Interpreting. I want hardcoded in my brain all the brilliance of my learned collegues, their experience, their skills. You never stop learning in this job..

3. Cooking. I want to be able to know how to scratch cook ANYTHING from ANYTHING. So I could go on Iron Chef and KICK THEIR BUTTS if I wanted to. But I don't. But I *COULD* and that's the point.

4. Financial Planning. If I could learn how to invest wisely, plus capitalize on investments, that would be cool. Then I could buy an island somewhere and lay out in the shade there, drinking fancy girlie-girl drinks with umbrellas and be fanned by a big palm leaf by some scantily-clad cabana boy. Don't worry Lem could have a scantily-clad cabana girl fanning him. I believe in equality in fanning.

5. Gardening. Bring on the green thumbs! I can't even keep a house plant alive right now, I have a feeling if I tried to grow stuff now for food it would turn out like Invasion of the Pod People and try to replace us.

6. Photography. I could actually take a picture that isn't the wrong exposure, or blurry?! And I'd know all about composition, and whatever else photography-smart people know?? Sign me up!

7. Fitness. I'd like to tap into all the fitness trainer knowledge so I could figure out an exercise regime that I'd like and would work and understand the Why's and the How's etc. Floundering around trying to do stuff on your own without knowing what you really need to do kinda sucks.

8. Fashion Designing. I want a direct peek at all those famous designers' minds. Not because I want to do to that line of work, but so I can figure out what the fuck they are thinking designing such messed-up, freaky-assed, pieces of crap that only an anorexic 6 ft tall supermodel could fit into. SERIOUSLY.

9. Piloting. I'd like to know how to fly all kinds of aerocraft.. big planes, little planes, helicopters, etc. If I'm ever on a commercial flight, and the pilot has a heart attack, I want to be able to land that sucker pretty as a picture not like something out of Airplane.

10. Balloon animals. I want to be able to make the Michelangelo of balloon animals. Like.. God will look down and go.. "wow, even *I* couldn't make a balloon palm tree that realistic!"

Yes, I know I could probably learn all this stuff given time, money, and effort. Did you miss the whole "instant gratification" part earlier?? Helloooo.. Yes, I realize that most of these are rather selfish. I don't want to know Doctoring, or Veterinarianing (?), or any other truly altruistic amazing thing that could probably allow me to solve world hunger. I suppose eventually when I'd learned all the really "fun" stuff I'd get to serious stuff like that. Right after I learn how to make bubble wrap.

Del

Stockholming Myself, Day 6

2010-04-18T17:22:00.001-07:00

Today we spent all day out looking at houses for sale and OMG WE PUT AN OFFER ON ONE!!! It's a short-sale, which in house-buying terms usually means it's anything *but* short. Plus the asking price is well below what it's worth so we'll have to see if the bank accepts it or not. Still .. *fingers crossed*.

Anyway, because of that, got home hot, and windblown so this is all I could do today:

This is obviously a "boy shirt" as it seems to just be a tent, however it's very comfortable and loose which is good cause it's hot in here today!

Any ideas of what to do about my jeans -- these jeans are now.. *almost* 2 sizes too big (yay) but the only other jeans I have that are smaller are *just* a little too tight. And holey. Should I just stick it out with these til I can fit more comfortably into the smaller ones? I hate belts, and these are falling off me! This is probably why I resort to PJ bottoms most of the time when I'm home.

More info on how to join found here: http://temerity-jane.com/?p=2943 Stockholming Myself: It’s looking at yourself every single day until you like what you see – either through change or through acceptance.

Crack for Kids

2010-04-17T15:09:00.000-07:00

So today our daughter was invited to a birthday party for a friend from school. We had plans to go to the family cabin this weekend and just veg, but since it was her first out-of-school social interaction invitation since we moved here we deemed it to be important enough to delay our cabin visit to another weekend.

The party is being held at the Family Fun Center & Bullwinkle's Restaurant. Now, back east we have Magic Mountain and other "Fun Activity Center" places where you can have parties. This was like that. On steroids. Multi-level, main floor with a couple rides that can seat 10-20 kids and do movement, virtual reality games, shooting, driving, you-name-it-games, laser tag upstairs along with a ton more games, outside they had go-karts, a huge minigolf course, a batting cage area as big as my house, a carousel, fair-type rides like swings, minibungee swings, and more. Basically crack for kids. Almost all the games give tickets so you can pump more $$ into the token machines so your little darling can get the next level of crappy toy for a gazillion tickets.

I snapped a few pics on the way out, sorry for the blurry I didn't want to use flash cause I didn't want draw attention to myself and look like some freaky pedophilish stalker person for taking pics of random people and not my kid.

Looking down from the upstairs level at a portion of the floor games.

Cripes *I* want to go play in that climby-gym thing. Too bad I'd get stuck in the tunnels.

Upstairs, Laser Tag is back and to the left.

Looking down the stairs towards the entrance.

They also have a full-sized restaurant/buffet, where you hold the parties I assume.

Indoor bumper cars. INDOOR FREAKIN BUMPER CARS. Can I live here?

The virtual reality Space Coaster ride, that apparently also even flips you upside down. Wheeee!

The carousel outside. They didn't have all the outside rides open, I'm assuming because it was only 58 degrees out. The outside rides/games on the other side of the building were all up and running though.

The best part? Our kids both have birthdays coming up in May and June, and how much you want to bet our daughter wants to have hers here? *shudder*

A Walk In The Park

2010-04-17T12:29:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago it was the first really NICE day since forever, and it was warm, so we went for a walk in a local park. You can click on pics to see bigger versions.

On the left are docks that you can fish from, or swim from (NO DIVING!).

BIG tree trunk.. and again:

Our daughter is just like me, she likes to climb and explore everything. Our son is a teenager. He likes to pretend he doesn't like to climb and explore everything.

She so wanted to jump into the water from there.

I'm not familiar with some of the birds of this state/area, so these ones on the log are a mystery, and they made the WEIRDEST noises!! Loons?? I don't know. By the time we walked around the trail to be closer some guys in a canoe had scared them away (boo!).

Even the grass is celebrating Spring!

The magic Mr. Rainier.

Ok they have these trees here that produce seed packets that look like little caterpillars hanging from the tree. We call them Caterpillar Trees:

Now that it's a couple weeks later these have all fallen off the trees and when they're all over the ground it's like trying to walk over a whole bunch of dead caterpillars. Ew.

Oh, btw, be careful cause you might get EATEN BY A BEAR while walking in the park.

Oh look! It's the unofficial State Flower -- MOSS! I actually didn't realize how many varieties/textures of moss existed til we moved here, they are actually rather pretty. Moss here is like what kudzu is to the south eastern states -- it takes over and destroys everything if not controlled.

Climb, my little mountain goat!

It's not a fun park walk unless you Off Road it, let's go THERE!

Lem patiently waits for us all at the top:

Peek-a-boo!

Everything's in bloom - yay!!

View from 3/4 around the lake, walking up a side road:

Lots of folks here have wood-carved lawn ornaments, nice eagles!

This is one of the houses you walk by when you're walking up the road to get back to the park entrance. Weird.

I'm pretty sure this ivy is going to take over that house in the background eventually.

I just want to get a bow and arrow and shoot through that hole. Of course I'd miss.

Crossing the creek.. we managed to not fall in!! Yay us! Wait.. what's that floating in the creek??

Oh cool! It's a baby tree!

Stockholming Myself, Day 5

2010-04-15T17:56:00.001-07:00

So today I tried to have my daughter take a pic of me, but after about 15 pics of too dark, too bright, red-eyed demon woman, blurry, I gave up and just went into our downstairs bathroom for a quick shot. Did I mention I like this color? I have at least 3 shirts that color..

Also, because they are so awesome, here are the uber warm ultra soft socks I'm wearing:

Stockholming Myself, Day 4

2010-04-13T16:58:00.001-07:00

So yeah still not feeling well, still in work clothes and feeling goofy, so there you go.

in review: Stockholming is the brain-child of blogger Temerity Jane, more info here:
http://ow.ly/1wW95

If I Drank Beer

2010-04-12T09:55:00.000-07:00

I'm not really much of an alcohol-drinker, Internet. I prefer the froo-froo sweet Shirley Temple type drinks that require little colorful umbrellas, if I drink at all, which is almost never. I can't STAND hard alcohol like whiskey or rum, it all tastes like what I imagine rubbing alcohol would taste. Beer.. BLEAH. I've tried really cheap beer (hello Pabst), I've tried fancy beer (something like Killian's), I've tried the dark lagers my friend Bart likes.. all of it tastes the same to me. It tastes like Beer. Which is gross.

However..

I listen to the local Alternative radio station when I'm driving anywhere. It's the kind of music I tend to listen to, plus if for no other reason it'd be worth it to hear the Bud Light commercials. For those of you who may not already know, Bud Light has a brilliantly hilarious series of radio commercials called the "Real Men of Genius". They make heroes out of your everyday person that you may not have thought of as a hero.. like the guy who invented the concert t-shirt launcher, or the guy who drives over-decorated taxi cabs. The main announcer guy is always speaking in an overly-dramatic voice, and the little phrases sung in the background crack me up!

What I didn't realize was how MANY of these commercials have been made. I've only heard a fraction of them, something I plan on rectifying once I get home from work today. Go here to see the links to all of them: http://thefuntimesguide.com/2004/10/bud_light_real.php, when you click on them then scroll down on the next page til you find the red Arrow for Listen.

If I ever decide I like beer, or that I want to drink beer, I think I'll have to drink Bud Light just to help support the company and keep these wonderful commercials alive.

Stockholming Myself, Day 3

2010-04-10T17:33:00.001-07:00

Sorry it's a little blurry, I was in a rush cause my daughter was NAGGING me to go to blockbuster and take these movies back and get new ones (we have a month-long "pass").

Look! NOT BLACK! Yay!! This is one of those "questionably may look you look pregnant" tops that is kinda annoying. But I do love that color.

Stockholming Myself, Day 2

2010-04-09T15:18:00.000-07:00

Well I promise these pants aren't quite so tent-like in real life, they are actually extremely comfortable flowy pants-skirty type things. That'll teach me not to just stand straight as a pole.

Sensing a theme in my wardrobe? BLACK! Or dark colors. Hazards of being a sign language interpreter.. all my clothes tend to be solids and dark colors so my hands are easier to see.

Stockholming Myself, Day 1

2010-04-07T17:10:00.000-07:00

An online blogger friend TJ is doing an amazing project, in which she takes a picture of herself everyday and posts it. It's not about diet, or exercise, or to hear criticism or praise. It's about looking at yourself every day until you like what you see -- either through change or acceptance*.

Here's a link to her latest post regarding this: http://bit.ly/aA1qJN

I think it's a fabulous idea, and I'm joining in! Therefore, here's my Day 1:

Just home from work (yay Jeans day!)

Some amusing notes on this pic:

1. I had to unbury that mirror from behind my dresser, where it was covered with a blanket, and then wash it 3 times with windex to get all the dust off of it. That's how much I hate looking in the mirror.

2. Look! laundry baskets! Yes, they are almost always in my room, and almost always filled with clean laundry that needs folded and put away.

3. I had to borrow a floor lamp from downstairs for more lighting, apparently my room is a cave. Which is how I like it.

3. My expression isn't really smiling-smiling, because I'm trying not to laugh. My daughter was in the bath across the hall, and I could hear her humming and singing the whole time I was trying to setup the mirror. I asked her after what she was singing, she said: "oh, it's a translation of one of the Swedish songs I like." (Which is Dota, by Basshunter) Understand she will NEVER sing in public where she knows someone can hear her. She's so cute.

Oh and I'd take a FULL body pic, if I had a full-body mirror. This is all I gots.

*phrasing courtesy of TJ

I've Got It Covered

2010-04-07T12:49:00.000-07:00

I think people are putting WAY too much emphasis on Covers these days. For example:

1. Paper Toilet Seat covers.

Yes, I understand we all have butt cooties and you don't wanna get whatever scary thing the last person had crawling about their person. The CONCEPT is good. The actual execution, not so much. I did try to use these a few times, but apparently from the time I carefully align the little circle of paper on the seat, to the time I actually turn around and start to SIT, there's too much going on and it always ends in disaster. It seems my butt is big enough to create a jet-stream-like air current when I try to actually SIT, that it will then blow the wafer-thin paper so that half of the thing is now submerged into the toilet water, thereby doing that cool "wicking" effect where the water is slowing absorbed up the paper ONTO MY BUTT where the remaining paper resides. But of course you realize this a second too late. uncool.

2. Baggies on remote controls.

WTF? Are people so germaphobic they have to put their TV remote controls in baggies?? You realize that your kids are still putting their grubby little hands all over the BAGGIE, which you're then holding.. so.. yeah.. Or is this one of those "I'm such a slob I'll drop this in my chip dip as I'm channel surfing" things? If that's the case, well maybe I'd understand. Still, there's no way I could do it though, cause I know I'd end up trying to blow as much air into the baggie as possible and close it quickly, and then smash down on it to not only change the channel, but also BAM pop that sucker and scare the crap outta the closest family member. Or the cat. Or both.

3. Plastic couch covers.

I realize when you get that old hand-me-down couch from Aunt Betty (hey! free couch! can't pass that up), and her little teacup chihuahua has been using the couch arms as it's personal chew toy for years, that this sucker needs SOMETHING over it to make it psuedo-presentable. There are many stylish and affordable cloth covers you can buy that will pretty it up and still be comfortable and keep that sprung spring from sticking up your butt while watching CSI. What I don't get is using PLASTIC couch covers. Sure, it's better than Scotch guard for keeping spills off your couch. Instead they'll just pool into your ass, or stream off onto the carpeting. Summer time in shorts -- yeehaw! Bring me a spatula to separate my sweaty thighs from where the plastic has fused to them. "Stop moving! I can't hear my show over the loud plastic crinkle noises." "WHAT??! "

4. Lamp Shade plastic covers.

These are like loose fitting condoms for lamp shades.. like your lamp is suddenly gonna get jiggy with the floor lamp over there, and you'll end up with a bunch of little desk lamps to support. YES I know the purpose is a dust cover but in my house that just means I'll have an ugly lamp condom covered with dust as opposed to a pretty lamp shade covered with dust.

5. Umbrella covers.

I'm referring to the little sheath that the umbrella comes in. Theoretically I suppose they are for when you use the umbrella and it's all wet and you need to store it in your bag or backpack but don't want the wet to get on everything. But seriously.. have you ever tried fitting a wet, or even dry, umbrella back into that?? That's like trying to put on a wet bathing suit. WAY too much effort. Then later I'm supposed to remember to get my umbrella out and open it up to let it dry, and turn that little cover inside out to dry? Yeah right I'm lucky if I remembered an umbrella at all.

Del

My Life As A Horse

2010-04-05T10:23:00.000-07:00

There was a period of time in my childhood, where I lived on a rural farm. We had a barn, chickens, dogs, cats, cows, and eventually a few horses.

During this time, I was obsessed with playing with plastic horses. No Barbies here, thank you very much. It was all about the horses. The only thing Barbies were good for was riding ON my plastic horses. But of course back then you didn't have the all-new bendy joint Barbies, so getting their little Ken-gets-no-action (which is probably why Ken ended up batting for the other team) clenched legs open enough to sit a horse was just about impossible. Anyway, I digress. I was horse CRAZY.

If I was not playing with plastic horses, I was BEING a horse. Yes, crawling around on all fours, galloping, bucking, neighing. I even had a bridle that was brand new and never used for some reason, that I managed to quasi-equip on myself which was awesome when I lost baby teeth that made gaps where the bit would go.

Things I learned as a horse:

1. All grass is not equal. Yes, I ate grass. Hellooo I was a horse! Some grass tastes better than other grass, and ALL grass makes juice that lets you spit green. This is awesome.

2. Eating grass can lead to getting worms. No not earthworms, I mean parasitic worms in your guts. My poor parents.

3. Hay not only smells good, it tastes good. Yay for roughage!

4. Sweet feed is yummy. It's the molasses, don't you know.

5. Crawling around on your knees all the time will pretty much wear the knees out of any pair of pants. I had so many brand new pants with holey knees my mom started ironing on patches to extend their life. I even wore knee holes into my snow suit. My poor parents. These days I would just buy my kid knee pads but back then *shrug*.

6. People who are not Zen with their inner horse will not fully appreciate when you are in such a state. Work with me here people.. BE THE HORSE.

The most important thing I later realized is the only thing better than BEING a horse, is owning a horse. More specifically, when you're too young to have to worry about the expense of upkeep, and can just ride the thing all over the place bareback like a little hellion.

I've never outgrown my love for horses, and someday perhaps I'll own some of my own. I promise I wouldn't even steal their sweet feed. Much.

ps. and yes, I still have plastic horses. So there.

While Shopping

2010-03-25T09:42:00.000-07:00

So a few days ago I was at the store doing my weekly shopping, and as I'm standing in the aisle trying to find "fire-roasted diced tomatoes" for some recipe I want to try, I hear the approach of a Dad and his little boy, probably 4-ish years old.

The Dad (to son): No son we don't need those, now we need to find the baked beans.. baked beans.. where are the baked beans?

The Son: (yammers on - I wasn't really paying attention)

Me (standing in front of said baked beans, since they were next to the canned tomatoes) *points*: Baked Beans

The Dad (gratefully): Thanks!! *comes over to mull over the 5 shelves of various baked beans* ...Uhhhh which ones are best?

Me: Well Bush's are the best brand in my opinion, but which flavor is up to you.

The Dad: Uhhhhh *randomly picks a can* There we go! Thanks!

*LOL* Looks like his wife didn't get specific enough. When I send Lem to the store I write down brands, flavors, EVERYTHING so there's no ambiguity. And if I forget he calls me, if not he will always pick the wrong thing which makes me grumpy when he gets home with the groceries. Which is probably why I just do most of the shopping.

Future Michelangelo

2010-03-18T18:52:00.000-07:00

My daughter loves to draw. She's also very good at it, in my opinion, for an 11-yr old. Today she brought me her latest drawings, and I thought I'd share them with the world. Click to enlarge them for better views.

Here is the whole page:

As you can see she tends to go with animal themes. Two items of note:

Ninja Monkey

Note the throwing stars, he's holding one, and has already thrown another. Isn't he cute?!!
I asked her about it, and she said, dramatically, "The LAST sound you hear is "MUUHAAAA Ooh Ooh Ooh." (picture ninja/monkey sounds there)

Other drawing of note, the Volcano of Chili:

Yes, those are Hotdog People on the side of the volcano. When asked about this one, she said (again, dramatically), "VOLCANO..OF..CHILI.. AAAAGGHHHHH!!!!!! OH NO, SAVE THE BABY!!"

*sniff* so proud.

It's The Little Things

2010-03-05T23:57:00.000-08:00

As most of you probably know, I rent my house. At the time we moved here Lem didn't have a job so qualifying for buying a house was impossible, plus getting settled quickly so the kids could start school was imperative.

I've rented for most of my life, with a brief stint in there as a home owner for all of 4 months before my divorce. Renting, for the most part, sucks. You're putting money into something into which you aren't building equity, you still have to mow the lawn and most times pets aren't allowed (we have a cat, for which we pay extra).

The worst part of renting, in my opinion, is that it's not YOURS. You can't really do a bunch of modifications, or decorating like repainting or hanging a million picture frames without having to later go back and fill and repaint all that stuff when eventually you move out, or lose your security deposit plus some. I hate white walls. Really. Our walls here are an off-white, I'd even go as far as saying eggshell or ecru but they're still rental unit BLAH. And since we're hoping to move before the next school year into a "real" house, it's not really worth the time and effort to try to find ways to personalize it that much.

However..

The master bathroom has a nice window in it that is RIGHT above the garden tub. It wasn't tinted or block glass or anything else that would block view in or out. Granted, we never use the tub (it has a separate shower), and it's on the second floor, but even so something HAD to be done to make it so it felt more private. Viola! I found a vinyl application you can buy, sort of like the colorforms toy where it sticks to other plastic or glass without adhesive. I splurged on the $25 it cost, and it was well worth it:

The cross bars were already in the window as some lame design element so I couldn't remove them, but overall I don't think they detract from it too much. It actually feels kinda textured and bumpy where the design is (almost like real stained-glass would feel).

It's not much, but every time I go into the bathroom I see it, and it's a bright splash of color in an otherwise drab rental and it makes me happy. Remember you don't have to spend lots of money, or do major changes to make a place feel a little more homey and special.

The Beatles

2010-02-24T13:10:00.000-08:00

The Beatles are my favorite music all-time. More-so than Weird Al Yankovic. More-so than Flight of the Conchords. That's Big.

I grew up listening to them, often hiding under my oldest brother's desk to get away from my middle brother's terrorizing. Their music is catchy, and easy to sing, and pretty*. What I didn't realize was the gamut their music ran on subject matter. When you're a kid you don't really pay attention to lyrics that much. Yes, they have a zillion love songs. You've also got your war protest songs, drug-related songs, and more.

Our family is big fans of the Rockband games. I personally have sung through every song on RockBand 1 in a huge marathon session that took hours and hours, and a large portion of the RockBand 2 songs. What's interesting is that most of those songs -- I had no idea prior to that what the actual LYRICS were. Some of them were shocking, some of them nonsense. The ones that make no sense are really hard to sing. We recently rented Beatles Rockband and sat around as a family playing them. It was REALLY funny to listen to my kids trying to sing I Am The Walrus and Come Together ... we were laughing because of the lyrics being so silly and not making any sense to them.

This has caused all of us to really listen to music more closely and pick out the lyrics. Here's some of my impressions on some Beatles' songs, now that I'm all growed up and actually pay attention. These aren't necessarily my 'favorites' just ones that I have something to say about:

1. We all agree that Maxwell's Silver Hammer is just about the happiest bouncy cheerful song about a serial killer anyone could want. How can you NOT sing along with this? Funny how the music can take what is an horrific subject matter and make it appealing to listen to.

2. Run For Your Life -- This song is really catchy, good rhythm.. I was listening to it on the way in to work today and then I LISTENED to what I was singing and was like.. wait.. this song is about an obsessive lover who is threatening to kill this girl because he can't stand to see her with another guy?!! Woah. And then I kept singing it.

3. Taxman -- proof positive that these songs are still relevant even to today - who doesn't feel like you're being taxed on the air you breathe??

4. Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds -- yeah yeah, Julian Lennon drew a picture.. then the Beatles got high on LSD and made this song about it. ;)

5. Happiness Is A Warm Gun -- Yay!! NRA's anthem.. who doesn't love a warm gun??

6. Hello, Goodbye -- the kids LOVE this song. They'll sing it every time I put it on, it's like a Sesame Street lesson on opposites filled with Beatle-y goodness.

7. Let It Be -- God forbid I try to skip this song for whatever reason when the kids are in the vicinity.. they put up a huge fuss.. another favorite song of theirs to sing to, though really they only sing the chorus >.<

8. Back In the U.S.S.R. -- one of the few Beatles songs I happily skip. Anyone else see this as a predecessor to California Girls by the Beach Boys? Not sound-wise, but subject-matter-wise. *yawn*

9. Yellow Submarine -- we love the movie, we love the song. Blue Meanies are funny.

10. Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) -- yay! one night stand and/or affair! but.. DENIED! You go sleep in the bathtub! Ok FINE, then before I leave I'll set your flat on fire. HAHAH!!! o.O

I'm sure there's a ton more I could talk about, but that's the ten I'm picking now. What's your favorite Beatles song and why? Mine is "Here, There and Everywhere." I find it to be a completely delightful love song, one that I hear and think, I want someone to think that about me.

-----
*This is of course a gross simplization of their music. I'm not going into the composition, lyrics, or arrangement technicalities. I just know what I like to listen to.

Fun with Recycling

2010-02-20T18:16:00.001-08:00

Alright I admit I am not a "Green" person. I don't bring my own cloth bags to the grocery store (though I usually do to the library, but that's self serving, I hate it when the mountain of books I get break through the plastic bags), I used disposable diapers with my kids when they were babies, and I don't eat organic free-range vegetables and meat that has volunteered to sacrifice it's life for my carnivorous pleasure.

Until we moved here, I also didn't recycle.

Understand, for years I *thought* about recycling. Every time a visitor would ask if we recycled cans, or one of the kids would come home fresh from a Save The World lesson at school and lay the innocent Guilt Trip of "mommy why don't we recycle"? Truth is, I was lazy. I didn't want to figure out HOW to, I knew there was some other truck that picked up that stuff, but where do I get the container? When do they pick it up? What stuff do I put in there? Bah! I don't have to pay for regular trash pick-up I'm glumping it all together in the regular trash.

When we moved here, I discovered we had to PAY for trash service. BUMMER. You pay a different price depending on the size of the trash can you have. The bigger the can, the more costly. Also, they give you a separate recycle trash can too that's included in the price, that they will pick up every-other week. If your regular trash is overflowing they charge you extra too. See where this is going?

We immediately found with a family of four that we generate enough trash, that we can easily make that medium-sized regular trash can overflow before trash day. Time to start Recycling! I grabbed out their brochure, and typed up two signs to tape above the recycle trash can in the house. DO Recycle and DON'T Recycle. And thus it began.

As time has gone on, I've discovered something. I *LIKE* recycling. There is a certain satisfaction with breaking down food boxes, washing out cans, and definitely with not paying extra for overflowing trash or a larger trash can. Also, it feels GOOD. I like that my kids are seeing us and participating in us recycling. I don't feel guilty anymore about throwing stuff away for it to end up in a landfill somewhere where it oughtn't. It's funny that a decision based solely on saving money ends up being a decision that also makes us feel better about ourselves and our care-taking of this planet.

I'm still going to use plastic bags at the store, though. Where else will I get my lunch bags?

Snakes.. Why'd It Have To Be Snakes?

2010-02-19T14:44:00.001-08:00

Almost a month ago I went to Blockbuster, and deciding that since the kids had a week coming up for some random School break, to invest in a month-long video game pass. This lets you check out one video game of any type at a time, and you can keep it as long as you want or trade it for another, etc etc, for a month. We've cycled through quite a number of games so far, with the kids taking turns picking.

Last week I went, and took my daughter with me since it was her turn to pick the game. Since she had just gotten some $ for her good grades, she of course had to buy some form of overly-priced candy they sell. She chose a blue and white gummy snake, which was almost 3 feet long. Once home she proceeded to name it (Roger), and then use my kitchen scissors to slowly dissect it and eat the pieces over a period of a few days. Barbaric.

We went again today, this time both kids went with me since it was my son's turn to pick, and my daughter still had $ burning a hole in her pocket. Today she decided to buy THREE gummy snakes. She had already named them before we even got to the register.

Cashier: Wow someone really likes gummy snakes!

Daughter: Yeah. That's Roger Jr., that's Phil, and that's Frank.

Cashier (taken aback and yet horrifically fascinated): You name them?

Daughter: Oh yeah, and then I cut them up and eat them.

Cashier (nervous laugh): Hehe.. ok then here's your snakes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dialogue from back of car on way home:

Daughter (to Roger Jr.): I'm sorry Roger Jr., you're father is dead. I DIDN'T DO IT. It was.... an eagle. ..... that was me.

Son: We should rename them. Call that one (indicates red and orange snake) "Tree".

Daughter: Well this one HAS to be Roger Jr. cause he looks like Roger. This other one can be "Will"... I'm not sure about the red & orange one.. what should we call it?

Me: How about Aeroflex*?

Daughter: Oh Mom. Let's call him Chuck.

The snakes:

And yes, she went to the store in her PJ's bottoms. If I do it, she can do it too.

Del
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*Aeroflex is a type of video camera, my nerdy brother named one of a litter of puppies this name many many years ago. Because he's a nerd.

Good Mood != Drunk

2010-02-17T07:54:00.000-08:00

So last night Lem and I were playing World of Warcraft, and we were raiding (for you non-gamers, it's when a bunch of you get together to go fight monsters in a dungeon).

So we have 25 people, all that can type back and forth to each other in group chat, and we're also on Vent which is where you can hear/talk to each other through a headset. As always, when you get that many people together to game, you have some people that NEVER talk in raid/on vent. They show up, they do their 'job', get their lootz. You have some people that OCCASIONALLY talk; they make a comment now and then so it's always a nice surprise to see them talking. Then, you have people like me. I like to talk. I like to interact with people. What can I say, I'm a people person. Within a week of joining this guild the Guild Leader had nicknamed me "Chatty Kathy".

Lately, however, there's been some tension between some of the people playing. Lots of stress, lots of pressure, and basically it really has been kind of unfun. Add to that me not getting enough sleep lately and it's made for a very grumpy Del. So I haven't been talking much. At all.

Yesterday, I was chatting through the day with some friends on Twitter. I also after getting home finally got around to reading a site that one of my favorite bloggers writes on. It was HILARIOUS. The site, which is NSFW (and probably blocked if your work is like mine) is http://www.toywithme.com. It has funny stories, product reviews, Q&A posts.. all... er.. of a mature nature. So I was reading the posts, and giggling, and asking (aka embarrassing) my friends on WoW asking them what certain terminologies meant.

Raid time came around, and since it was Tuesday we start the week fresh (server resets Tuesday mornings), so these are the "easier" monster fights we've killed in the past, which means it's less pressure/stress. Combine that with the giggly silliness I had been reading, and I was in a Good Mood. This hasn't happened for quite a bit while raiding, so it caused me to loosen up and actually joke and chat in raid. I had several people ask me if I was drunk. LOL! Aside from the fact that the only alcohol we have in any quantity in the house is a 12-pack of Rainier Beer (aka Moose Piss, as I like to call it), I had to be up for work at 5:30am the next morning so NO, no alcohol for Del.

I'd have to say it was a fun night, there was lots of kidding around, zingers flying and we still managed to kill a bunch of monsters and I got a new piece of gear (shoulders). It's amazing how something as simple as being in a good mood can change a whole night. I'll have to try that more often.

I Love A Mystery

2010-02-10T13:08:00.001-08:00

I have a confession, I'm a sucker for a good mystery.

I'm not talking mystery books. I'm talking history books. Stories of people that lived in the past, pictures from those time periods. Wild west, pioneer days, colonization times, the victorian era. Who the people were, how they lived, how they died.

I have read all of the Laura Ingalls Wilder books, and the few more books published afterwards that include writings by her, letters to her husband and daughter, and pictures she took at that time. I've dug into the mysteries such as the Mary Celeste, Roanoke Island, Easter Island. All of these give details you can picture in your head, or even photos, but you can't actually be there at that time to *experience* it, or in some cases know what really happened. What was it like to actually not run to the store when you ran out of milk? What really happened when they find a perfectly good ship just floating in the sea with no one aboard?? Wouldn't it be cool if I could kill all those stupid !@# Canada geese that loiter around destroying lawns and supplement my larder (see, I know the word LARDER cause I read stuff like that).

It's the same with old pictures. I've recently been enjoying this site: http://www.shorpy.com
This guy posts old photos, anything from places to people and more. Every picture shows a little piece of the past that I never got to experience. Perhaps one shows a town where all the conveyances were horse-drawn, this one has farmers working in the fields by hand. Another shows a solemn couple in their finery (and just WHEN did people make the transition to *smiling* in pictures, anyway?).

Each one has a story to tell, but I don't know it. These people and places existed, had lives, loved, lived.. and it seems irrational but the pictures and stories all make me a little sad. It's as if I missed out on something amazing and beautiful even though my logic says today's technology, sanitation, and medical care is really where I want to be. Imagine seeing the plains stretching for miles and miles with thousands of buffalo thundering past. Imagine the sky so dark with birds it blacks out the sun. Imagine wearing bustles, or high-necked gowns, or a time when an a car was a novelty. Pictures capture a moment in time, but they can't really make you understand how it FELT, or convey the full impact.

So I continue to look at the pictures, and try to imagine what the people were thinking, or who they were, and perhaps make up stories in my head about them, and enjoy the mystery.

Superbowl Review

2010-02-07T23:55:00.000-08:00

So today was the Superbowl! It was a bunch of guys playing football, and The Who (I think .. I saw Pete Townsend anyway) singing at halftime. But really, who watches it for that??

I recorded the whole thing as I have in the last couple years, and then once it was over, I sat down to fast forward through the game, and watch the commercials.

What?? You don't remember them/didn't watch?? You can see them all here:

http://www.forbes.com/2010/02/06/super-bowl-ads-2010-watch-vote-embed.html?boxes=businesschannelsections

Here are my highlights:

Doritos -- FUNNY, except the one with the little boy telling the guy to keep his 'hands off his momma and his doritos'. Yeah ew.

E*Trade -- First one was funny, second was so-so, but nothing tops the commercial a few years ago with the baby who had used his investments to hire a clown but had "underestimated the creepiness of it".

Go-Daddy -- Just give ME the $ for airing this tripe. I was watching with my daughter, so had to fast forward through their sexist stupid commercials.

The Monster.com and other job search ones -- erm.. interesting.. The "Casual Fridays" one had quite an EWWWW factor watching all the people walk around their office in their knickers.

Dockers -- What is up with commercials with people in their underwear this year?? There was another totally STUPID commercial featuring football players "singing" and one of em had a tiger-striped thong. Ick.

Annheiser-Busch (bud light) -- Boy they had a buttload of commercials. Good one was the scientists that thought the world was going to end by meteor. Funny bridge commercial, funny plane wreck commercial, funny auto-tune commercial (nice nod to K-Pek, first musician to make auto-tune popular I believe), and yay! one clydesdale commercial. Sorry but nothing tops their first original Clydesdales-playing-football commercial.

Bridgestone -- HAHA! Bachelor party, love it!

Dodge -- All the stuff Guys put up with so they can drive the car they want. "I will watch your Vampire TV shows with you." HAHAH!!

Coca Cola- Simpsons *yawn* dumb

Denny's -- By far the BEST COMMERCIALS of the superbowl. The first one set it up for the rest -- screaming chickens are FUNNY.

Dr. Pepper -- KISS and a big WTF???? or should I say small..

FloTV -- The ad with the guy who has "had his spine removed" HAHAHAHA!!!

Snickers -- Cute, nice little sight gag.

VW - nice, and the snippet of Stevie Wonder made us laugh and laugh

Audi -- HAHAH!! Green Police!! Actually.. this would probably be more funny if I didn't think at some point the world will actually be like this. Actually now that I think about it this is a little scary.

Vizio -- Yay for all the Internet Viral Videos featured!! Zombies, Numa Numa Guy, David the kid, Tay Zonday (Chocolate Rain), and probably more I missed.

So there you have it. There were a few others but nothing worth mentioning, in my opinion. Oh, and I guess some guys played football. I hope you enjoyed your Superbowl as much as we enjoyed ours!

No Shame - Come Have A Baby With Me!

2010-01-28T10:57:00.000-08:00

Recently my daughter has suffered some health issues, which I'm thankful to say seem to have been solved. Hopefully they won't reoccur. What I thought was rather amusing was that she's at that age where things are EMBARRASSING. Like... ANYTHING related to herself, her medical issues. If I try to talk to my husband about it, and her older brother is in the room OMGHISSYFIT "MOM! WHY did you have to say it IN FRONT OF HIM?!!!" Me: um... I was talking about ultrasounds, how is that embarassing??? I guess I can remember being embarrassed about body stuff when I was her age and into puberty (the first time I had a period my mom asked if I needed help in the (public) bathroom I was MORTIFIED "NO MOM! OH MY GAWD!!")

Most things just don't phase me now. Perhaps it's my age. Perhaps it's having 3 kids, and having lived through diaper changing, babies spitting up on other people, cleaning throwup out of the bathroom sink (SERIOUSLY, my son threw up in the SINK.. who does that??!!! You can't just let it go down you have to SCOOP IT OUT and transfer it to the toilet cause it's all chunky and nasty. UGH).

But really, I think it's childbirth.

Unless you've ever actually had a baby, I don't know if you'll fully grasp this but I'll try to explain. If you're at least a woman, you'll have some idea.. because every year since you've come "of age" you've gone to a GYN doctor and gotten to have an instrument that looks like it is the thing they use to "mechanically separate chicken" shoved up your hoohaw and been poked and prodded. The first few times you do this it's HORRIBLY awkward and embarrassing and awful. Years and years later it's old hat and whatever. Childbirth is like that too, only moreso, esp if you have more than one child.

Once you become pregnant, you have to go to the doctor semi-regularly for checks, and then frequently as the birth date approaches. Every time you go towards the end they're checking your cervix to see if it's thinned or started to open. Either the OB does it themselves, or the nurse.. see? They're acclimating you to becoming desensitized to more people have access to your no-no place..

By the time you're in labor, your back hurts, contractions hurt like hell, you're tired, you're hungry and thirsty, and you WANT THIS THING OUT OF YOU. At that point you're on a table in stirrups (yeehaw! cowboys never had stirrups like these!), and nurses, orderlies, or maybe the janitor keeps coming in to check to see how far along you are, including again doing the cervix check (um.. that's with their hand, in case you're missing this). Yes, that's right.. people you've NEVER EVEN MET before today are sticking their fingers where the sun don't shine. And guess what, you're EXCITED ABOUT IT.. because when you hit that magic number 10, and contractions are coming one on top of another then you can PUSH.... and then this HORRIBLE OUCHY PRESSURE will go away. At that point you'll just about agree to anything to be DONE.. "what??!*pantpant* you want to bring in a group of interns to watch?? does that mean I can push?? YESSUREOMGIDONTCARE".

Finally you're done, the baby is out, and the sense of relief is so amazing that you want to cry. At this point if you've had an epidural block you get your anesthesiologist's name and address because they are now on your Christmas card list for the rest of forever and you're actually considering name your new baby after them.

All of that has basically made me completely un-selfconscious when it comes to going to doctors, or anything medical or biological-related (as you can see, cause of all the junk I just shared with you!) I guess I hope my daughter doesn't have this experience for a long, long time. ;)

Del

Randomness

2010-01-24T13:13:00.001-08:00

Stuff heard in our van after discovering a bag of Jelly Bellys jelly beans:

"Mmmmmmm coffee..."

"Ewwww!!! coffee!!.."

"What's this one? I think it's cotton candy. EWWW it's strawberry!!"*

"You know you can eat a yellow, green, and red all together and it's good." "You're out of control"

"OHGROSSUNLOCKTHEWINDOWLOCKSNOWNOW ~ptoooooey~"**

"Mmmm chocolate" "I want chocolate!" "It was brown." "UGH THAT'S CAPPUCINO" "It was a different brown."

"YES, Blue IS a flavor. Periwinkle, however, should NEVER be a flavor."

*********************************************************************
*Strawberry in itself is not gross, however if you are expecting cotton candy, it is.
** I believe it was the horrifically over-fake-buttery popcorn flavored one that caused this.

Del

I Go For The Parking

2010-01-24T12:43:00.000-08:00

Our local county library is only about 5 minutes from our house. I must admit I was rather spoiled in Ohio with the superb library system we lived near, so this one is rather disappointing. It's kinda small, they have an almost non-existent DVD collection, and worst of all.. they lump all their fiction and sci-fi/fantasy together (HORROR!). They also don't actually enter a large portion of their paperbacks into the system by name.. they are listed as PAPERBACK ADULT. So.. if I check something out and can't remember the name of it come time to bring it back.. I'm digging through my shelves of paperbacks trying to find it without knowing the name. What a pain. I'm sure it's because of state funding to libraries. Too expensive to take the time and energy to catalog stuff that falls apart too easily. Have said all that, it's better than NO library.

And there's the parking lot.

I'm a country girl at heart. Big city, the smell of asphalt in the morning, sky scrapers.. doesn't do it for me. I want grass, and nature, and trees. While I may find the library itself somewhat lacking, I'd go there if for no other reason than to sit outside in the parking lot.

I can quite confidently say, that this is BY FAR, the coolest, most impractical parking lot I have ever seen in my life. Apparently there must have been a forest on this parcel of land, and rather than raze down all the impossibly tall gorgeous trees as any normal big developer would do, they decided to leave as many as possible, and build the library building and parking lot *around* them. It's awesome.

Here's the front of the library:

Already you can see, there's trees practically HUGGING it.. they go all the way around it front/sides/back.. and they are like 70-100 feet tall, mostly conifers.

Here's a pic just as you come out of the library, looking towards the parking lot:

TREES!

Now, not only are there trees all over the place, they built the parking spots AROUND them. Which means, the parking lot twists and winds around them, and there are all sorts of weird parking spots that are only 1 or 2 wide. COMPLETELY impractical in a state where usually parking is a premium and I love it.

Case in point:

One spot. ONE. And look.. there's a canopy of trees there which make it almost like a little secret fort parking space. Pure WIN. Who wouldn't want to park in their own single space, where no one can ding your car, and you can totally pretend you're the VIP of the forest with reserved special parking??

Another example:

They have lots of single parking spots, and you can't see it, but my van on the left is in a 2-wide parking space. It's ridiculously cool!

See? They're all catywhompus and crazy and awesome:

The only downside to this is that a lot of them are labeled "Compact" probably because they didn't have enough room between the trees to make a full regular parking space. So worth it.

Some local hooligans that felt the need to play in the trees (well, one of them did, anyway):

Library: 0 Parking Lot: 1

Del

They Don't Even Really Look The Same

2010-01-23T01:04:00.000-08:00

Daughter: Mom, can I have a cucumber?

Me: Sure.

*a few hours later*

Daughter: Can I have the rest of the cheez-its in the box? Oh that cucumber tasted funny..

Me: Did you eat one of the zucchinis I had in there? They don't even look the same, the texture and EVERYTHING is different about them??!

Daughter: I just.. just cut the end off.. *stands with dumbfounded horror-struck look of dawning realization*

Me & Lem: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Shopping Rant

2010-01-19T19:22:00.000-08:00

I am the primary grocery shopper of the house. Lem is great to run to the store for one or two things, but if it's a big shopping trip stocking up the shelves, he just doesn't do well thinking outside the list (get it, like outside the box.. but.. oh nvm why do I bother..).

Perhaps I am not like your typical woman. I hate shopping. I hate clothes shopping. I hate grocery shopping. I hate having to figure out a menu for the next week or two, figuring out the ingredients I need, and then I really hate having to actually GO to the store and do the shopping. Don't get me started on spending money. UGH.

After being traumatized by all of this, I then have to face the Shopping Cart Guilt Trip. You all know what I'm talking about. You load all your groceries into the car, and then you have this empty shopping cart. Now obviously if I'm parked next to, or perhaps one space away from, the little shopping cart corral thingie I have no problem with sticking the cart in there and being on my merry way. But here in Washington, apparently parking lot space is at a premium because they have TWO whole cart corrals in the entire big parking lot. I kid you not.

And the spots near them are always nabbed by those early morning shoppers who apparently camped out overnight just so they could grab those coveted spots near the cart corrals. They're evil, I'm telling you.

My oldest son worked for a large grocery store chain awhile back. He was also one of the kids responsible for gathering up all the carts in the lot and dragging them either to the corrals or into the store. At the time while he was slogging through sleet and slush and YUCK and doing this, I had pity for him and was very very good about returning my cart into the cart corral, regardless of the store. Now, I have a husband who is such a BOYSCOUT. I mean it in the most loving way, but he will (I swear to God) truck that little cart all the way across the state if necessary, in the pouring rain, to get it back to it's little home. And.. apparently everyone in this state feels the same way cause there are NEVER any carts in the parking lot, and I never see any little store kids out gathering them up.

So now I have the guilt of having seen my son busting his butt gathering carts, I have my husband's silent example admonishing me to do the right thing and bring the cart back and worst of all I have PEER PRESSURE of all the other shoppers who apparently are all goody-goodies and put their carts back.

I've decided if I could have a Somewhat Convenient Power (see http://temerity-jane.com/?p=2294) then it would be the power to Return My Shopping Cart To The Cart Corral. With a wave of my hand the cart would magically POOF! Over into the Cart Corral in a neat orderly fashion stacked with the other carts already there. How cool would that be?!!

-Del

No Driver's License For Her!

2010-01-19T18:01:00.000-08:00

*Stuck in traffic*

daughter: ohhh! Look! There's one of those box cars*!

me: ewwww!

daughter: I am SO getting one of those, it will be white with orange flames on the side. You won't even want to be seen with me. I'm going to drive you EVERYWHERE.

me: ...

-Del

*box cars: one of the many types of cars out these days that resembles a cardboard box on wheels

It's The Little Things In Life

2010-01-16T12:05:00.000-08:00

iPod Touch: $250

Hours spent reorganizing and then loading music onto it: 8

Dinner ingredients: $16

Annoying the crap out of my daughter as I cook dinner, while she tries to watch TV in the enjoined room, by dancing the Numa Numa Dance and singing as loud as I can along to "Dragostea din tei": Priceless

I'm a Toys-R-Us Kid

2010-01-14T13:40:00.000-08:00

Confession time, Internet! I refuse to grow up. Oh sure, I do grown-up stuff. Bills, work, raise kids, etc. BUT.. inside, I'm still just a big kid.

Here are some examples of stuff I still do, that for some reason most adults don't seem to do. What is WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! Lighten up and enjoy life, will ya??

1. Puddles. I *LOVE* puddles. Whether walking or driving, they are there FOR A REASON! No, it's not because of bad drainage.. it's so you can jump in them as hard as you can (preferably while next to someone else) or drive through them. Yeah yeah.. water on brakes, warps brake pads blah blah.. give it a rest.. it's not like I do it *every day*. Though if I could...

There is something gleeful about splashing through puddles, or through the little river that is running down the side of the road. If you can do this while it's downpouring (assuming it's not freezing out, or lightninging), then GO FOR IT!

2. Soap bubbles. When you're loading the dishwasher, or washing a few big stuff by hand, you use regular dish soap in a bottle. Did you know when you squirt some out then flip the bottle back upright, if you squeeze it real quick the soap layer covering the opening will then produce a stream of tiny little bubbles into the air? SO COOL! I have wasted a bunch of soap doing this over the years, and making soap bubbles with my hand (picture an OK sign, cover with film of soap, blow through).. Bubbles make me giggle, especially itty bitty ones.

3. Spongebob. I love the Spongebob cartoon. He's yellow. He's a sponge. He lives in a PINEAPPLE! How cool is that?? I could never live in a pineapple because I would end up eating it. Wait.. that would be AWESOME! If you wanted a snack, you could just nibble on the wall..
I also feel like sometimes I have to deal with a bunch of "Patricks" in life.. Also I want to live in a world where fire works underwater. No, not special weird-chemical fire stuff, REAL campfires.

4. Climbing. Anything that can be climbed, should be climbed. I'm not talking mountains. I'm talking trees. Freaky huge rocks. Roofs. STUFF. Cats have the right idea.. everything looks way cooler when you're up high and besides then you can spit on stuff below you.

5. Video Games. No, I'm not talking Call of Duty 4. Or even World of Warcraft. I'm talking.. Cooking Mama! Super Mario! ANY Legos game (omg Harry Potter Legos coming out in March -- squeeeeee!!!!). Get in touch with that little kid in you that spent hours getting powerups. Got news for you, they're even MORE fun now, cause now you have the patience to do stuff over and over and over again since your lame old person hand-eye coordination sucks now.

6. Icicles. Icicles are AMAZING! You can just knock down a whole row of them hanging from a house and get deep satisfaction from the shattering wreckage you cause, you can grab down a huge icicle and pretend to use it as a light saber and hit your family with it (causing it to shatter all over them - yay!), or you can happily gnaw on it until you realize the hand holding it has gone completely numb and you then slam it to the sidewalk to watch it shrapnel bomb all over the place. COOL!

What fun "kid" stuff do you do? Oh yeah.. Toys-R-Us? DEFINATELY play with all the toys as you go through the aisles.

Del

The Horror!!!

2010-01-12T10:56:00.000-08:00

As some of you may know, I like chocolate. A lot. In fact, I can safely say I'm a chocolate snob. Nay, even a connoisseur! (Which I'm pretty sure means "will eat just about any form of this food", yeah I just made that up).

Short detour: I like bananas. They are healthy. They taste great. They are fun to eat, and the little blue sticker on them fits perfectly on your nose. What I do NOT like about them is that they are trying to take over the world with their Banana Smell of Banananess!!! You know what I mean. Ever eat a banana in the car, and you stick the peel in your car trash bag (everyone has one of these, right?) or worse, just in the little middle console thing to throw away later? And then you come back later, and it has transmutated into this little brown/black pungeant banana-smell generator that's 20 times more potent smelling than the original banana. You can take it out of your car at this point and you'll still be smelling it for days.

Back to the point: I got a bunch of little yummy individually wrapped chocolates in my Christmas stocking from Santa. I have been slowly nibbling on them since then, taking some to work with me in my lunch bag (which is a plastic grocery bag, recycled into a snazzy lunch bag by virtue of me throwing my lunch food into it and taking it to work, hey.. I'm environmentally friendly! Shush you).

So I took a bunch, and stuck them in my bag, and stuck a banana in there for work. I did not, however, make the time to eat said banana, perchance I wasn't in a banana mood, or didn't have time on my luxurious 10-min lunch break. It stayed in the bag. With my chocolates. Do you see where this is going? I brought it back home and in my usual organized fashion, threw it on the little table by the front door. Where it sat for a few days. Until I remembered it, and wanted my chocolates.

I found the bag, pitched the slightly dismayed looking banana (it's brown pattern was frowning at me), and suspiciously smelled the wrapped chocolately goodness.. hmmmm... *seemed* ok...

Start playing on the computer, unwrap and dig into the first chocolate. GAAAAH!!!!!!!! Banana-flavored chocolate. My chocolates were TAINTED!!! CONTAMINATED! If I wanted chocolate-covered bananas I'd buy them specifically, this was so Wrong!

It's like.. when you usually drink pop (no NOT soda.. soda is something you mix into some kind of fancy drink that I think involves alcohol, so there), and you get a glass of milk, and you're busy doing something and you aren't paying attention and you take a drink and you were expecting pop and BLEAH it's milk and your whole digestive system is like WTF??

And the worst part was I had some PURE chocolates that were left in my stocking that I had just dumped in the bag when I retrieved it.. so they were now MINGLING with these evil banana-flavored chocolate buzz-killers. It was like playing chocolate russian roulette. Would I risk it? Would it be a chocolate banana bomb?!!

So I ate them anyway.

Del

An Active Imagination

2010-01-11T11:26:00.000-08:00

So yeah, I was just in the bathroom here at work. It's a public bathroom that the building provides and our office rents a space, so when you go in there are three stalls. I'm in the middle one, and have just sat down to er.. do my business.. when I hear a series of rattling sounds DIRECTLY OVER MY HEAD in the ceiling. Now, it kind of sounded like someone dragging a cable through the drop-down ceiling. But since there are no workmen around that I noticed upon entering, this seems unlikely. It also had a sound like a million small insectoid-like creatures skittering through the ceiling, and I look up and there's a little AC vent DIRECTLY OVER MY HEAD in the ceiling. I say (outloud), "Oh seriously, if a bunch of little creatures start dropping onto my head from that vent I am SO outta here." (thankfully I was the solo occupant of the bathroom at the time).

Literally SECONDS later (not joking), I hear a weird KACHUNKFSSSST just above me to the left, and as I jerk my gaze upwards I see a small mist cloud puffing up from the stall next to me. Momentary freakout (THE INSECTS ARE ATTACKING!!!) until my brain connects the sound, with the small automatic air freshener attached to the wall above and between my stall and the one next to me.

OK NOT FUNNY BATHROOM MAKER PEOPLE. Good thing I was already on the pot..

Del

When It Rains...

2010-01-08T13:54:00.000-08:00

Well, technically here in the Seattle area when it rains, it can drizzle, mist, pound, and a million other variations. However as far as the analogy goes, it always seems that in life, a bunch of stuff happens at once. This is actually a silly notion, since things are of course happening all the time, but sometimes if they are bad or stressful, they all seem to pile up at once.

Our daughter has been fighting a chronic bladder infection for almost 2 months now. She's been on multiple antibiotics, cranberry tablets, tried going potty more, and drinking more fluids. It's now spread to her kidneys which is very painful and has caused her to spike some pretty uncomfortable fevers. This latest development hit a couple days ago, she's been x-rayed, is going to have an ultrasound, and is on yet another antibiotic and a laxative to make sure everything is flowing, well.. smoothly. As a parent it's really horrid when your kids are sick and even though you've taken all the steps you can, it's a waiting game to see if medicines, sleep, and time will make the difference. As Indigo said.. I Hate Waiting. Nothing like trying to stay positive and supportive and patient when you're running on little sleep. She's been a super trooper this whole time.

A few nights ago my Uncle Mike passed away. He had been fighting cancer, and is now finally at peace. He'll always be Crazy Uncle Mike to me.. I really haven't associated with him in recent years since he lived in South (?) Carolina, but I remember younger days of playing with my cousins, and him always being a total goofball. He always had a knack for making everyone laugh, just a wicked sense of humor. He and my Aunt Jeannette had a pickup truck and it had a camper on the back. I was always so envious of that camper, I imagined driving cross country and having your own little house with you. That's probably why even to this day I have a total crush on the big luxury campers and plan on owning one someday.

Anyway, that's what's going on right now, and why I've been a little too preoccupied to type out any new entries. I will say we finally saw Julie and Julia, and it was truly a splendid movie. I've always liked Julia Childs, I remember watching her cooking show when I was growing up. I think Meryl Streep did a lovely job of representing her (though to be honest, Meryl is still just a little too pretty for the role). Very satisfying movie.

Keep our girlie in your thoughts and prayers.

Del

Garlic??? What the Hell...

2010-01-03T11:40:00.001-08:00

Ok, I like garlic as much as the next person. Ok, that's a lie. I pretty much hate garlic. I hate the smell, I hate the flavor. I hate it's overpoweringness in anything it's added to, in that it becomes all I can taste and it makes my stomach uber-sick. Now that we all understand that..

We went out to dinner last night as a belated Birthday dinner for yours truly, and as such I picked Mizu. It's a japanese steakhouse, rather pricey as those are, but I figured that's what I got that birthday money for, right?

[related anecdote]: So for Lem's last birthday I took him to Benihana. It's a japanese steakhouse nationwide, same as above kinda pricey but the food is wonderful. Should I say, it used to be wonderful. Now,they cook everything with garlic butter. Ev-Ry-Thing. The fried rice. The vegetables. The steak. THE FREAKIN STEAK. And they put a shitload of finely chopped onions (did I mention I hate onions too?) in the fried rice, which made it inedible for me. Basically I paid a shitload of $$ for food that I couldn't eat. I was unhappy. That is an understatement.

Back to Mizu. So we sit down, and the table across from us is already underway with their chef cooking.. and I can see the contents of his little food cart. Hmm... that huge bowl of butter has green bits in it. Butter does not normally have green bits in it in it's natural state, unless maybe you fed the cow some really good weed or something. The waitress comes over and I ask her if the butter is garlic butter. She says no, another worker overhears her and corrects her, yes it's garlic butter. I verify that they can in fact substitute plain butter. *whew*

Our chef comes out, starts taking our order. I ask to see the rice he'll use to make the fried rice. He pulls out a huge platter with a pile of cooked white rice on it, and on top they've dumped enough diced onions to depopulate an entire garden of onions. *gag* I ask him if he can switch it out for rice WITHOUT onions.. which he very nicely does. The rest of the meal proceeded and the food was quite tasty. They even put small cut-up shoots of asparagus with the shrimp appetizers. Big kudos to my family, including the in-laws, for letting me take over dinner and putting up with my pickiness. But really.. they put SO MUCH of that garlic butter in there all you can taste is garlic. I can go to the damn grocery store and buy garlic for a couple dollars, and saturate all my food at home if I want to. If I'm paying $20-$30 per PLATE at a restaurant, I want to taste the FOOD I'm paying for, not garlic with a hint of steak flavor, thank you very much. Same with the onions.

Yes, spare me the "oh but garlic is SOOOO good for you" lectures. I don't like it. I don't anticipate liking it anytime in the near future, and I don't have to eat it. So there!

Del

Movies, Movies, Movies!

2010-01-03T11:28:00.000-08:00

Still enjoying our week-long unlimited Blockbuster pass.. those poor suckers really lost money on us, I tell ya!

Well, we watched Angels & Demons, and (500) Days of Summer the other night.

I've been trying to avoid writing any spoilers here in case any reader hasn't yet watched one of these movies but plans to, so with that in mind, here's my comments about Angels & Demons:

YEAH! WTF?! NOO!!! OH HELL NO!! HA! I KNEW IT! OH COME ON, DAMMIT! GRRRR! YAY!

That, in summary, is the movie. Beautiful cinematography -- master shots blending real life shots, built sets, and CGI goodness. Some predictability with the plot. Some twists. It's like.. National Treasure but with Theology crammed down your throat at every step. 'Nuff said.

(500) Days of Summer: This is a quasi-romantic comedy. NOT a love story. No! STOP! Do NOT IMDB, or Google, or Wikipedia it. Just don't. Go rent it, and watch it with no knowledge of what it's about, or even what the title means. It's quirky. It has many funny spots. It has some sad spots. I wish they would have developed the female character's personality and background better so you can understand her better, but overall I liked it. The one part, that has faux artsy-fartsy black and white subtitled films? Yeah that made me think of my brother Dan's preference for those types of movies and I laughed and laughed at the silliness.

And yes, OMG we traded these in and just got Julie & Julia, will prob watch that if not tonight than tomorrow night.

Del

Dialogue, Dinner Time

2010-01-01T20:30:00.000-08:00

Me: That Hot Pocket smells very hot-pockety*.

Son: It's very hot.

Me: Yeah, that's why they call it Hot Pocket. It's so people can't sue when they bite into the liquid hot-magma interior.

Son: What if you eat it cold?

Me: Then it's a Cold Hot Pocket. And then the Universe would implode.

-Del

*yes. hot-pockety is a distinct smell. It's the smell of nitro-hot nameless uncertain contents wrapped in an out layer of faux crust that tastes not entirely unlike parchment paper. Not that I make a habit out of eating parchment paper. Usually.

The Things I Do For You People

2010-01-01T19:04:00.000-08:00

It's time for me to help you get in touch with your inner burp. Yes, that's right, no more laying awake at night pondering the meaning of the Universe as it applies to Burp Science. If you're easily grossed out, then by all means keep reading so you end up puking on your keyboard. Just make sure you get a family member with a camera ready first so they can upload the pics to me and I can laugh and laugh and mock you. :)

So, as we all know, some foods, or drinks (carbonated in particular) will cause you to burp. What I've noticed is that some burps are BETTER than others. I'm not talking volume, or strength.. actually my daughter has us all beat on that one (how the hell a little body like hers can house such a resonating chamber I still don't know).

I'm talking QUALITY, people. All burps taste (and usually smell) like that which you ate (though some drink burps will in fact reflect what you ate too, they get complicated). Admit it, there are just some foods that burp better than others. Unsurprisingly, people differ as to their favorite burp subject matter. They, of course, are nuts, because mine are the only ones that matter. They are:

BEST:

Watermelon. Watermelon burps are so yummy it's like you're eating it all over again, but without worrying about seeds that will grow watermelons in your stomach.

Salad (with correct dressing). Viva Italian or Ranch dressing salad burps are divine. They remind you that you COULD have eaten something healthy but instead chose to liberally saturate it with a completely unhealthy delicious dressing.

Steak. That's right, you're not some leaf-eating rabbit, you're a MEAT EATER!! RAWR! SMELL THE CARNIVORE!

Baked beans. What could be better than something that will produce gas from BOTH ends??!

WORST:

Hotdogs. Even high quality Oscar Mayer (yes, I did have to sing the song in my head, shutup you).. nothing says *urp* like processed meat.

Tuna salad. It was fishy on the way down, and now it's fishy-acidic YUCK coming back up. Note: these burps are excellent for tormenting the cat.

Salad (with wrong dressing). Ever go to some buffet, and all they have is weird generic off-brand pseudo-dressings that are probably actually paint thinner that they bought in bulk from an art store that was going out of business? It's difficult to actually taste test while in line, so you go ahead and risk it, go sit down, and EWWWW so nasty. But, now you have Guilt because there are little starving children in Africa that would gladly eat turpentine salad every meal, every day if they could, so you suck it up and eat it anyway. And then later you have horrific Salvadore Dali burps.

Pickled beets. Ok, I admit it, I can't remember the last time I actually ATE a pickled beet. But, I imagine the burps would be just as unappetizing as they appear to be. Even my imagination gets queasy thinking about it. Hold on a sec taking an imaginary Tums. Ahhhh

So what I'm saying here is that I pretty much evaluate what I eat on TWO scales: 1. Burp Factor 2. Red Dawn Factor

Seriously. Lem can attest to the fact that at least once a week while I'm cooking I'll make the comment, "Yeah that's perfect Red Dawn food." This basically means a canned food that you can eat straight from the can upon opening without cooking/combining with liquids etc. and it would still be edible. I didn't even really LIKE the damn movie, but somehow when the teens were grubbing for food and stealing fruit and canned stuff, that stuck with me so now that's part of how I evaluate everything. BTW, Campbell's bean with bacon soup.. totally Red Dawn food.

Del

Gee I.. need some Joe

2009-12-31T07:47:00.000-08:00

It's not that I didn't just LOVE the G.I. Joe movie more than life.. it's just that it was.. well.. horribly predictable. I admit I rented this more for my husband than myself. The only thing G.I. Joes are good for, IMO, is sitting on plastic horses. Hey... back in MY day the barbies weren't all bendy.

Pre-movie (me making dinner): Oh boy, I can't wait to see this movie. Cause you know it's all about the hot babe in skin tight armor (I might have said this in a slightly sarcastic tone)

Lem: what? who said there's a hot babe in this movie?

me: there's ALWAYS a hot babe.

*fast forward to movie time* *First 10 minutes of movie... crazy action sequence.. oh look, hot babe in skit-tight cleavage-revealing leather outfit*

me (to Lem): You can hear me saying it, can't you?

Lem: (small voice) yes.

And I'm sorry, but if the bad guy calls for the Sharks to be mobilized, then I expect to see FRICKIN SHARKS WITH FRICKIN LASER BEAMS ATTACHED TO THEIR FRICKIN HEADS.. but noooo, they just had to be some dumb little submarine machine thingies. Disappointing, I must tell you Internet.

The ninjas were cool, though. In fact, the only thing cooler than ninjas fighting, is ninjas fighting amongst lots of cool mad scientist-looking electricity beams. Thumbs up for that sequence.

Oh and that guy? That whistling guy? He's from The Mummy. Yeah it was bugging the crap out of us for half the movie til I figured it out. You're welcome.

Del

Movie Review Week!

2009-12-30T07:27:00.000-08:00

So last night I spent a little of my birthday money and bought an "unlimited week" pass from Blockbuster for $18. Sort of like Netflix -- I can rent 2 movies at a time, and have unlimited rentals for the entire week. Which basically means we're gonna be watching a lot of movies this week to get my $$'s worth!! I figured with the kids still off for winter break, I could cycle through movies and let them see some stuff I'm not interested in watching too.

Last night I rented "9" and the new Star Trek movie (the latter I had seen previously). "9" is a computer animated movie which revisits the tired theme of the earth after humanity destroys itself. Animation was decent, interesting concept.. A little predictable. Ok for kids. Overall not unhappy to have seen it but don't need to see it again. I do find it ironic that the man who did the voice work for the scientist (Alan Oppenheimer) is 3rd cousin to J. Robert Oppenheimer, who helped develop the first nuclear weapons.

The new Star Trek movie -- well I will unashamedly admit to being a diehard Trekkie so I was a little leery of this movie at first. I'm happy to say it was a very satisfying movie experience with lots of little Trekkie tidbits thrown in. You get to meet all the original ST cast when they are young, and see how their relationships developed. Some language, brief sensuality, but nothing that made me cringe or squirm overly with the kids watching it with us. Lots of funny parts, I laughed, I cried (yes, I really did), thumbs up. Oh, and young Spock is yummy. 'Nuff said.

Del

Dialogue Last Night

2009-12-29T09:37:00.001-08:00

Me: I'm making myself some popcorn

Daughter: make me some too!

Me: come make your own!

Daughter: I can't, I have to go to the bathroom!

Me: well make it when you get done!

Daughter: *stomps to bathroom* I'm VERY disgruntled!

Me: Do you even know what that means??

Daughter (from bathroom): No, but you say it all the time.

*roll eyes*

The Big Four-Oh

2009-12-29T09:02:00.000-08:00

So today is my 40th Birthday. Woohoo! I must say for being such a milestone, I really don't feel any differently than I did yesterday. No, that's not entirely accurate.. now when I say my age, it feels OLD.

Anything starting with a "thirty-" gave me the illusion that I was "still in my thirties". In my opinion, the 30's were a pretty cool age period. I was old enough to finally figure out what I wanted to do as a career, I was mature enough to actually pursue that without wasting time, energy or money goofing off like I did in my 20's.

Now, I'm faced with thoughts like, "how soon til IT hits.." you know.. the big Scary M-word (that's menopause, for you folks following at home).. and "crap, all that weight I was going to lose in my 30's.. now I have to do it in my 40's, and it's even harder then -- ugh!". Oh and now I get to have annual mammograms, at least until the recent studies that show they should only need to be done every 5 years instead of every year become more widely accepted.

Gross, being a girl sucks sometimes.

Del

Now I Lay Me Down To.. Zzzzzzzzz

2009-12-28T14:28:00.000-08:00

So today my husband went to his Sleep Center consultation appointment, where the Doctor after listening to him describe his symptoms pretty much said, yep, you have sleep apnea, you win a prize -- a new car!!!

Ok.. he didn't really say that last part. So poor Lem gets to go back tonight and get jacked in, hooked up, inspected, detected, infected, neglected and selected.. and other fun stuff they don't even tell you about in the brochure. I can't imagine a more worse way to test someone's sleep pattern than to stick a bunch of wires all over their person (hey! don't put that THERE!) and then put them in an unfamiliar room behind one-way glass where they are probably making little hand puppets that are eating your head while you're trying to sleep, and tell them.. ok.. SLEEP! But.. don't roll over or move or you'll pull all the little wires out and we'll have to start alllllll over again. So.. just sleep like you normally do (or don't). Yeeeeeaaaaah.

Hopefully all of this will lead to a cool little machine that we will get to have next to our bed that pumps oxygen under his nose and makes it so he can actually breathe real air instead of the noxious fumes that are his nighttime gas that are the REAL reason that neither of us get any sleep at night. Where do I sign up for one of those machines???

Del

Holiday Fun

2009-12-26T16:17:00.000-08:00

Well Merry Christmas to everyone! We had a fun filled Christmas Eve at the in-laws for the big family get-together.

Yummy Chinese takeout for all, gift exchange, and the fun gag-gift dice game. What's that? It's basically where everyone brings a white elephant gift, and then you all sit in a big circle and take turns rolling a pair of dice and try to get doubles. If you get doubles, you get to snag a present from the center and open it, or steal someone else's present they already opened. Something can only change hands 3 times until it's permanently "stolen" and retired. Lots of fun ensued, the most popular items that got stolen were a lovely scented candle set, a rather pretty blown glass rooster, and a nerf dart gun that yours truly had brought as a gift.

We have a family tradition from Lem's side that we open one gift Christmas Eve, and it's always PJ's and you have to wear em Christmas morning or you don't get to open gifts.

Christmas day up bright and early to open gifts with the kids. Money being really tight this year we decided to not get stuff for each other to make sure we could give the kids a good Christmas. Santa still filled our stockings with lots of yummy candies and little things, though :)

This is me Christmas morning in my new PJ glory (note the festive Santa socks):

About 8:45am, I start getting ready to put the ham in to cook for our early dinner later in the day. And then I realize that for some inexplicable reason, we don't have any flour in the house. I'm not sure how I've managed to not have flour in the house since we moved here but there you have it. I was using a cooking bag for the ham (it being rather large) to help cut down on the cooking time, and you have to add flour into it to help keep it from exploding in your oven (heeey, that sounds like something to send in to Mythbusters!!). So I hopped in the car (still in my Christmas PJ glory, and went and got flour at the store. Didn't even get any funny looks for my Smiley PJs.

Lem's side of the family came over later, my ham dinner was a success, and we had lots of fun opening gifts and getting our butts kicked by my daughter at Harry Potter Scene It, 2nd edition. She even got her Grandpa Smith to play Spongebob Connect 4 with her!!

I am now the proud owner of an iPod Touch, which is very exciting, and I now get to spend hours and hours fixing all my music files so they are actually organized, and properly labeled with album names etc. so that I can have those cool little album cover icons when I'm searching for music to play. Doh!

Del

ps. yes.. that Hershey bar in the pic? We got that for our daughter.. it's 5 lbs. O.O

Even the Food is Fat

2009-12-24T07:53:00.000-08:00

We all know that studies show Americans are in general getting fatter every year as a populace. What we didn't realize is the REAL cause: the FOOD is getting fatter!

In my work breakroom they put out a big container of Animal Crackers. I love animal crackers.. I remember when I was a young girl getting the little PT Barnum animal crackers that came in the box that looked like a circus wagon with little animals pictured in it, with the little string you could carry it with. Oh the fun of playing Make Believe with the animals it contained until you gleefully bit their heads off. The animal crackers supplied here are in fact an off brand.

Exhibit A:

Ok what the hell is this??! Is this a mutant sheep??

Exhibit B:

Clearly an attempt at an elephant.. or an alien, I can't really tell.

Exhibit C:

Obviously some kind of large cat species.. apparently female and nursing??

Exhibit D:

Mooooo! Looks like Bessie's been hitting the hay too much.

I can just picture some farm somewhere, where all the little cookie animals are in tiny little pens or those head-restraint thingies and force fed day and night until they are outrageously overweight, and then they are taken out back behind the woodshed and shot and shipped out. Don't believe me? Look at the photos again.. SEE THE BULLET HOLES??!!!

Is there a PETCA?

Oh the humanity..

Del

Chocoholics Are Forgiven Much

2009-12-22T21:10:00.000-08:00

At the store earlier:

Me (to kids): Don't forget I'm cooking Fudge for Christmas

Daughter: *hugs me* I KNOW! I LOVE YOUR FUDGE! WHEN YOU MAKE FUDGE THEN YOU ARE AMAZINGLY AWESOME, AND THEN YOU GETS LESS AND LESS UNTIL IT GOES AWAY.

Me: Er.. thanks?

Apparently my Awesome factor is directly linked to the amount of fudge available. Less fudge = less awesome. o.o

Evening, Child Interruption

2009-12-22T21:07:00.000-08:00

Child: *puts formerly lose tooth on my computer desk*

Me: Hey cool! Tooth came out finally!

Child: Yeah I ripped it out of the cat's face.

Lem: Well that's better than ripping it out of your brother's face.

Child: Dangit! I should have thought of that story instead.

Punctuation Fail

2009-12-22T10:02:00.000-08:00

Well it seems that even though the state symbol here is NOT the orange barrel (unlike Ohio - ugh).. there's always a bit of roadwork going on somewhere. The street I drive on near my work has been doing construction, including something where they have a strip going across the road that is a plate of slightly raised metal, not really speed-bump quality but close. They put up a construction sign the first day:

I swear to God this was my thought process as I saw it:

"Motorcycles, use extreme caution... WTF?? *looks around construction site* I don't see any motorcycles? They're using motorcycles for their construction?? WHERE?!!

OH. It's telling motorcycles to use extreme caution. Duh."

I swear it's not my fault. I blame the Transportation Department for conditioning me to automatically insert a comma into road signs.. like "SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY" .. we all make fun of that one, but we really know it means "SLOW, CHILDREN AT PLAY" see??? Completely not my fault. Really.

Del

Welcome to the Land of Crows

2009-12-21T12:17:00.000-08:00

Well as my first official blog post, I thought I'd make something clear. I'm writing this for my own amusement, and perhaps the amusement of my friends and family. Anyone else that wants to read it, and is then amused, amazed or appalled.. hey, welcome!

So I drive a good 30 minutes to work every day. It's really about the same commute time that I had in Ohio, the difference here is that the freeway I'm driving on winds through gorgeous forested hills with a mountain backdrop. And, the crows. In Ohio, especially where I drove, I saw Herons almost every single day flying near the freeway. I assume they were off to go stand picturesquely in some corporate business's front pond where the busy freeway drivers would completely fail to notice their beauty and thusly have a crappy day instead of getting warm fuzzies. I always got warm fuzzies from them ("hey, there's MY heron! it's following me!!!")

Unlike those other drivers, I notice things. I attribute this to my parents, especially my mom who was a nature freak and felt the need to point out every type of tree, plant, leaf, insect and animal in any forest we ever visited. Now I wish I'd paid more attention.
It does, however, mean that I notice things as I drive that I think other drivers just miss. Here I see an occasional red-tailed hawk on a light post, a sea gull or two, and crows. LOTS of crows. So many crows, that I think they must be Washington's state bird. They are so big that I sometimes mistake them for hawks until I get close enough to distinguish their ruddy feathering and distinct beaks.

I realize this is probably geography-related. Perhaps western Washington has song birds? Here I think the crows have eaten them or something. There are no flocks of songbirds winging across the sky in impressive synchronized flying (how the hell do they NOT hit each other as they constantly shift directions?!). Instead you get the baleful stare of a crow from a lamp post, or a tree branch. Just not the same.

Just a shout out for anybody that wants to do yet another remake of the movie The Birds? Come to eastern Washington, these crows are freaky scary huge and just waiting to peck people's eyes out, I can feel it.

Del