On The Way Home

Discussion with kids while driving home from park:

(me: not really paying attention to the chatter from the back seats, tunes in suddenly)

Meg: No! Only pregnant ladies have those.

Me: *mildly alarmed* What?? What do only pregnant ladies have??

Meg: Mood swings.

Me: HAHAHHA! Ohh no, my little one, just wait until you are a Lady, then you too will have them, probably monthly. Periods cause hormonal fluxuations.......

Meg: MOM!!!!! Oh my gosh I can't believe you SAID THAT ADAM'S HERE..

Me: Hey! This is important stuff for him to know too. Someday he might have a girlfriend or wife, and he'll have to deal with this. Chocolate, Adam. And foot massages.

Adam: Oh great mom, what if my wife's allergic to chocolate. YOU JUST KILLED HER.

Me: GRR fine then whatever she likes.. icecream...

Adam (with condemnation): She's going to be a diabetic.

Me: ARRGHHHH

(general laughter)

Misnomer

We are currently trying to buy a house. We've been trying to buy a house since April. It's a big lovely house with lots of room, not a huge back yard but adequate. It's also a short-sale, which actually means it's not.

For those of you who haven't gone through the house-buying process, a short-sale is usually when a borrower can't pay the mortgage loan on their property, so the bank that holds the mortgage decides it's better to cut their losses and sell the property. This lets them avoid a foreclosure which is long expensive messy process.

Now.. "short-sale". Those words imply some sort of expedited process, don't they? Well WRONG. This is one of the biggest misnomers I've come across. What it really means is that the bank or banks involved are the ones calling the shots, and as everyone knows when you get banks involved things take FOREVER. This particular sale actually has TWO banks involved, since apparently the seller took out two loans, so that just doubles the red-tape. Oy.

So now we have school almost starting, and although the new house and our current location are the same schools (our main priority when looking for it), I really wanted the kids to be able to start out from Day 1 on their new bus route and we'd be all settled in before that time. Damnit.

Keeping our fingers crossed we hear something soon, the whole thing has been very frustrating as it's completely out of our hands at this point. Banks suck.

Jetta, You Missed The Mark

As I drive around running errands I usually listen to my car radio. I tend to tune out commercials (just like at home when watching TV) however if they repeat often enough I can't help but notice them.

One recent commercial is for some sale that Jetta is currently holding. The premise of the commercial is that people are calling leaving messages for other people to say they can't make it to whatever appointment or commitment they had because they simply MUST go to this sale and/or are currently test driving one of the cars. Some of the calls are:

1. A sewer guy calling a client to cancel appointment, can't miss that sale!
2. A woman calling to say she's going to be late for a baby shower because she simply has to go test drive one of the cars
3. A dad calling his daughter to tell her he can't make it TO HER BIRTHDAY PARTY because he's test driving a car.
4. A woman calling her husband to tell him she can't make it to their child's Kindergarten screening and telling him to 'cover for her'.

Wait.. what? Seriously? Jetta, did you just say that coming in to test drive one of your cars is MORE IMPORTANT than my child's birthday party???? Oh well, I'm sure there will be PLENTY of other birthday parties but that sale, boy it won't last, right?! Kindergarten? Bah! That's not really a milestone event for a kid, right??

Or is this ad aimed at the type of people that would indeed blow off these commitments to go drive around a car?? I can't really fathom it, and it UTTERLY OFFENDS ME that Jetta would think this type of ad would in ANY WAY appeal to parents who value and love their children and have their priorities straight. Every time I hear it on the radio it makes me SEETHE with anger. What if little kids are hearing that ad, and they're hearing these "parents" minimalizing what should be really important things? What message is that sending??

Jetta, you suck.

Say What??

Usually I have my camera with me, and as I'm going about life if I notice something amusing, or odd, I'll snap a pic of it. Here's my recent ones:

While in a gas station to snag some munchies, we came across this fine vintage wine:

For your domestic squabble this evening, we recommend the cabernet sauvignon...



Really she doesn't look very mad to me? Oh wait! She's probably drank a few bottles of this fine $7.19 wine. And hey, if she's still mad, at least it's a red wine so it'll nicely match your blood! Er..


Ok wait. What? Bread in a can? BREAD IN A CAN? No, we're not talking bread dough, it's an actual small LOAF OF BREAD?!! THIS is what makes America so great!! Mmmm raisins..

An important public service announcement that we should all heed:


Hey! YOU! STOP EATING BABIES!! Geesh.


While at the Dollar General store, I happened across a few products:


Ok is it just me, or do you immediately think of Lassie, the famous TV dog? So you're basically saying I have enough hair on my legs they look like Lassie? I'm so offended!! And here I was going for more of a Bigfoot look..

This was in the hand cream section:


NOT going to make any boobie jokes here, but wtf??



So wait.. you're selling something that was developed for use on dairy cows at the dollar store? Does your average farmer usually shop for Udder Cream at the dollar store?? Perhaps this is a demographic that dollar stores have been missing out on all along!!

Yes, this world is still a crazy place.

The Day You Realize

Today I was cleaning my house in preparation for company coming over tomorrow. You know how it is, you're in The Zone, just busting away not really paying attention to anything just Clean Clean Clean.

We have an area upstairs that we call the Rec Room. We have a TV there, a computer, small table and chairs and a couple comfy chairs to sit in while you watch TV. My 12-yr old daughter has recently been spending a lot of time up there, usually when her brother is playing on the X-Box downstairs and we're on the other computers. She watches TV, or plays on the computer, or reads. We call it her "lair" since she's put a blanket down and has little snacks and toys up there.

She and her brother are currently away visiting family, and so I was up there cleaning unhindered, and I came upon a notebook. Not just any notebook, but her "Notebook of Awsomeness!!" (and love) <-- written in a heart.

*gulp*

Did I read it? Heck yes!

Recently she's been very into the Twilight books/movies. We read them all before her to make sure they were appropriate, and then she read them, and we all saw the movies together. She's printed out pictures of Jacob, Edward, Carlisle, and Jasper and taped them into the pages, writing those silly gooshy things that girls write about boys they like. Already my heart is aching as I realize that my little girl is not so little anymore.

I turn the page and she's written a poem. It's about Edward, and it's beautiful and so well done and mature that my tears start. She's also started writing a story where she is a werewolf in that world, and it's good and at the end she's drawn a gorgeous picture of a wolf in pencil. I won't type her poem here without her permission, but I admit I typed it out and saved it somewhere on my computer just to have it permanently.

She's growing up. SHIT.. when did this happen?! So many more things to worry about now, so many more things to have to deal with. I hope I can guide her through this new phase of her life, and I hope she understands that to me she'll always be my little girl.